Falling Meteorites

~ My Blue Moon ~

2012-01-12T14:34:00.002+08:00

"And I wonder if I ever crossed your mind, cuz for me it happens all the time."

Need you now- Lady Antebellum.

9 months, the name sure sounds long but in reality, it happened so fast like a bullet train. Just as if it's a moment ago, when I first entered Sunway's Ausmat alone while most of my secondary school mates were enrolled either in Sunway's FIA or Taylor's. However, during these duration of time, I met a lot of people who are utmost AMAZING friends that anyone can ask for.. like seriously. :) Met the kindest, friendliest, wackiest, craziest, sweetest, funniest, loudest, coolest, goofiest, hyper-iest people that I've ever seen. And yes, people who are born both beautiful inside-out, who's presence truly left a deep mark in my life. Aaahhh~~ How I miss you guys!! ♥

Throughout the times in Ausmat..

I did the silliest thing as a student when I first shaded my answers at the name area of my EE1 Accounting test paper. (NO WONDER, there's no place to write my name.. heheh :P)

I kept on offering sweets to Sheik during the Puasa season, forgetting that he is an Indian-Muslim. Oops!

I lost my T1-89 Calculator~~ There goes my RM 350.00. T.T

I had to wear heels with plasters on my feet for presentation purposes and it hurt soooo much that there are times when I really felt like pulling them off, fling them away and watch them fall from the 4th floor. (If you love your girlfriend, never force her to wear them.. unless she enjoys it. And if she wears them for you, appreciate it kay?)

I became too emotional during my Moral Studies presentation on Children Discrimination, broke down and screwed up the information. Great embarrassment but we managed to score 21.25% out of 25% for it. :)

I got myself a lovely pet sister upon knowing that she has always wanted a sister for herself due to the reason that she is the only child in her family. Love her a lot.. Oh, and she's a 14 years old person who's doing the same course as us, the 18 years old by the way. :) You have absolutely no idea how proud am I of her.. She's a great girl.

I tried hard to break free from my shell, doing things that I've never done before. I finally get involved in society-based clubs, organizations and events that I've always hoped to do.. all of these to find myself.

And I'm glad that I did.. :)

So, all in all, last year was indeed a year filled with events made out of:

pleasant surprises..

life-transforming experiences...

and

heartwarming memories....

P.s.: I'll miss you. :)

Sometimes, there is a point in your life whereby you will meet a whole new group of people in which, you became so closely connected with. Even though the times that we spent together isn't long, however, it is in that short period of time, that bond is created.. by fate.

To be able to gather at one place from a total of five countries across the borders of the seas;

Considering that successful candidates' application have to go through multiple screenings and 'special' connections..

Fate.

To be able to warm up easily with each other's presence;
Though there are some differences in terms of cultures, personal preferences and concepts..

Fate.

To be able to stick together through thick and thin;
With mutual collaboration, care, trust, understanding, acceptance and love..

Fate.

8th to 28th December, the date that our blue moon was found. :)

♥ 2011 Overseas Youth Hakka Culture Camp ♥

The famous 'Zzzzs' pose. :)

Before I go spilling my heart out, there's one thing that I do not want to neglect because without him, I'll never be able to participate in this year's camp. Should my application fail, and should I succeed in 2012's application instead, the people that I've met and memories that I've gained would had been very different.. And I'm very grateful that I've them all last year. I found out that I was the last candidate, among the 16 Malaysians, according to the man in charge (ain't sure if it's true or not) but according to him, my cousin kept giving him phone calls to check if my name is in the list.. So touched.. Thank you WUI TENG! :D A million thanks to both of my Tzu Chi shigus (Cheng Gee shigu and Siew Bee shigu) who gave their best in ensuring my recommendation letter is well written. Same goes to my parents who made this trip possible.
感恩！！

And so..

There're a total of 16 of us from Malaysia. Apa khabar? :)

All 16 of us gathered and stayed at a hotel nearby KLIA a night before the camp so that non of us will be late for the flight the following day. As we all know, passengers aren't allowed to board the plane with any liquid more than a 100ml in hand and we have to either finish or drop them in the bin provided. Surprisingly although there were a few officers eyeing on us as we walk through the screening machine one by one and I was holding my transparent water bottle right in front of me, they kind of allowed me to cross just like that. O.o?!

Anyway, upon arriving at Taiwan, we gathered at this hotel to meet with the rest of the campers and oh my gawd.. how I watched in disbelief and refrained hard from laughing the moment I saw the guys sitting RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the corridor playing POKER CARDS?!?! Wow.. An unexpected sight. *Grins* Okay, I found my room and the first foreign friend I talked to was Anna Ju, standing right beside the room door with a huge beam saying "Omg.. Finally! The rest had their roommates arriving almost completely and I was so anxious!" Something like that, and yes, I was kind of happy seeing her because she seems to be a very friendly person in which, she is. :) So, my first roommates were Taiwanese who either migrated or furthered their studies to Australia; the sunshine girl: Anna, Erica: who has a very warm demeanor, and Daphne: someone who's generous with her smiles. Yes, there's still some awkward moments and we didn't chat much on the first night but yeah, probably because it was a pretty tiring day.

Moving on to group division, and I was placed in Group 4 with:

'茶叶'
- a.k.a. 'tea leaf', who is the 'supervisor' for G4 who has been diligently taking care of our needs, enquiries etc.

Parker
- Our young group leader who kept disappearing to G5 at times when we need him BUT he will definitely roll back later on and run his duty as a pretty responsible leader.

- Famous for this 'lips-pout-ing' icon, the 'shhhhh~~' with one finger over the lips sign and yes, the 'passing-under-table' game that only the G4 would play every time we have our meals.

Sophie
- Miss Charismatic and also the 开心果 of G4. Thank you darling, for the tremendous effort and spirit you managed to bring out from us within.

- A very thoughtful and fun person to talk to.

Amy
- Lovely, caring, and motherly-like lady who helped and guided most of us with the laundry and stuff.

- According to the survey done by the guys, she's said as one of the most beautiful girl in the camp in which.. I truly agree because no doubt, she has a very good heart.
- Her hawt 'M' dance during the X'mas night? :)

Cindy
- Absolutely adorable, alert and smart girl who has just completed her SPM and I've confidence that she'll do well in her studies.
- Has been my Bus 2 partner throughout the entire trip and we've been watching the City Hunter drama,downloaded into her Ipad with the screaming, and getting heartbroken over Lee Min Ho with Sophie.

Annie
- The 'mother' of G4 who knows the difficulty in earning money so she's very careful with her spendings in Taiwan.

- Her voice; absolutely loud, clear and you can hear her from afar.. Teehee.. She's always making sure we're eating the right food, spending right, safe and ooohhh, her sweet motherly advices.

Ray
- A very kind and funny guy who plays with his facial expression at all times even in photographs!
- Nicknamed '洗手哥'.. lol~~

Kk
- For the first week, he's just too quiet and I was trying so hard to make him talk. But later on, found out that he's a good person in side who's always there to offer help to those in need.

- He's been so kind in agreeing to become my 'sweets delivery messenger' to my 'Owner', Jackie because it's so hard to talk to him and care for him without exposing my identity as his 'Angel' as I'm not close to him.

Peir2
- A very quiet guy who can be really cute at times. :)

- Eats really less.. like just a few spoon of rice and a few pieces of food bits? Hmmm??

"V♥蛋!" :D

Among the small activities conducted at the camp was to select a local Taiwanese young adult student as our extra group leader (Sprite) who will be running around with us for 3 days straight. And it was the G4 girls who made the quick 'browsing' and decision based on urm.. I believe it's his looks? *laughs* I can still clearly remember how Annie stood behind him and was asking "这个好吗？我们选这个ok?" while we were like.. "yes yes! 我们要这个！！Annie, 快快站在他的后面！抓住他, 不要给别人抢走他！！", at the same time happily thinking "yes! We got the best looking one!" lol..

However, sad to say that although we lost in ALL of the group challenges BUT we are obviously the most close-kneeted, loudest, happiest, and family-like out of the 5 teams. :)
蛋蛋家族！！Hiyaaaahhhh~~

Our dear Sprite*, the one in orange and brown jacket. :)

得到惩罚的样子.. :P

Campers also get to experience the taste of living the local Taiwanese lifestyles through the homestay program and oh my, my homeparents' house was so well kept and huge. What I liked best is the fact that they actually plowed this massive land behind their house themselves; growing lettuces, veggies and fruits along the way.. not forgetting the huge fish pond. Home ma and home pa treated us like their own children, home pa was the chef of the house and they stuffed us with homemade delicacies after delicacies. What's more? Upon knowing that I was down with flu, home ma immediately rushed into the kitchen and walked out with a pot of steaming hot starfruit soup which made me felt so much better. On the very first day, she even greeted us with lovely scarfs, bought from different places which were then given to us to help us cope with the cold weather. Before we leave, she even packed herbal candies, caramel and milk candies as well as vegetarian meat for us to bring back home. Omg.. Can you just feeeeeeeeeeeeeel the love? :)

Wearing the scarfs given by home ma.. Miss them so much! :(

Home ma's and home pa's son. :)

At the last week of camp, we had the campfire night followed by the Indigenous Taiwanese fire dancing ceremony in which was a good eye opener for me because in Malaysia, usually, only the scouts have them. The 'first dance' came next and I remembered Li Hong was super happy because she got him* as her dance partner. Lucky girl. Haha.. Basically, all G3 and G4 members memorized this dance by heart as we've been practicing them for our group combination performance. Peace! :D Right after that, we all had papers celo-taped behind our back and were released to convey whatever messages we wished to say to friends who's image first came into our mind, one after another.. Lighted candles and a huge 'Kongming Deng' a.k.a. Chinese sky lantern was then released into the dark night, glowing with all it's might as it reach for the dark sky (sky lanterns are just so beautiful to watch).. which officially marking the closing ceremony of the campfire night.

I made lots of wishes as it floats off..

*Muuaahhhhh*

On the night of X'mas eve, a barbeque party was held and the moment I heard that beers will be provided, the very first thing that stroked my mind was "Uhh uhh.. There goes the guys!!" :) Seriously, most of them were surprisingly strong alcohol drinkers and their supplies of 'gao liangs' seems to be endless where else the beers~~ pure mineral water? OMG! So scary!

But yeah, some of them got drunk in he end and had to leave early while the rest were still standing strong with a little wobbly here and there. Ha-hah. xD Unfortunately, a few of our dear friends were sent to the hospital halfway through the party as they were down with high fever.. or 'flu'. But I was kind of relieved to see them back the next day. Deep inside, I was grateful that Yee Ling, the camper representative from M'sia also known as 'Vitamin jie jie' has been diligently distributed vitamin B+ and C's to the M'sian every day. 谢谢你！:) ♥

Last but not least, this camp ended with a truly economic-organized farewell party. All I remembered was pizzas and soft drinks? Eheheh.. Anyway, everyone looked stunning that night and although it's the last night for us all but at least, I get to take photos with everyone, person by person at the moment that they all looked at their best in the camp.. :) I think the highlight of the event was the 'confession stage' whereby guys either got pulled or pushed up onto the stage to.. urm.. do whatever confession they wished to do or.. by force? Lol.. Henry was very brave that night and I think every single person in the camp knew he ADORES Annie. Hehe.. But Annie kind of disappeared into the washroom for a moment but it's okay.. we all WAITED for her to come back. He did his confession and I was like "Oh-my-gawd.. That's so sweet! :D" and it is! The exciting part came when whoosh~ he gave her a peck the moment she was halfway turning to leave the stage which of course, made the crowd went high?! *laughs* Too bad that I think nobody managed to take photos of them or else, it would be a good memory souvenir for both of them to keep I guess? :) Urm.. there's also 'Onion' who did for 'E', 'Ah L' for 'M', 茶叶 for 'YL'.. and uhh uhhh.. I was startled when my name was called by 'JJ' who was then standing beside 'E' on the stage. Then, 'Ah L' came running over to drag me to the front.. OMG?! I was shocked because.. because.. I was also guessing who's the girl while looking around to see which girl might be overreacting. I didn't know how to react and I remembered I was standing quite a distance away beside 'E' and they were like asking me to stand closer. Awkwardness.. BUT! What he did was kind of sweet to thank me politely so yeah.. but what's with the 'peace!' sign in the photo? Hmm.. not that embarrassing after all I guess? :) Definitely something memorable to remember after this camp. Thank you 'E'. :)

Having to leave the very next morning at about 5.30am, it was very touching to see our dear Australian friends waiting at the lobby to send us off (the M'sian campers have to leave a day earlier). My tears started flowing like nobody's business when I hugged Mel goodbye.. Mixed feelings came rolling and I 真的很不涩的 them all, giving everyone hugs, waving them goodbye from the bus, weeping silently with Jayson, sitting right next to me kept on asking me to stop crying while I can clearly see the tears in his eyes too.. all these still stays fresh in my mind. We arrived at KLIA at noon and my mum gave me a call saying there's massive traffic jam due to road block so I had to board the Express line (Monorail) and then convert to the LRT (Light Rail Transit) to come back home myself. I'm kind of glad my luggage aren't huge tho.. just the right size at unpredictable circumstance. On the journey back home, images after images of the campers filled my thoughts and I didn't realize I was crying until I saw my reflections in the window. Ahhhh~~ so ugly, better wipe them off before someone else sees it. Heh.

So yeah, basically they were a lot more interesting activities that we did throughout the camp from DIY-ing paper fans, salty veggies, traditional lion head and orange jam-cum-cordials, rock climbing, flying fox, mountain climbing, cycling around the peaceful Hakka village, sharing Taiwan's street snacks at the famous 'ye shi', learning the Hakka dance, lots of singings and doing performances and yes, most importantly getting to learn this unique language, while meeting the wonderful Hakka singers and teachers. Truly, this camp had brought me many beautiful and unforgettable experiences..

I miss you all soooooooooooooo much! :)

This year..
Is the year of the ultimate dragon.. *rawr*
A..
New...
Year....
Has....
Come..... *drums rolling*

Okay okay, I've obviously just failed creating a suspense atmosphere. Anyway, here's my resolutions for year 2012. :)
♥♥♥
1) Hardcore effort in my studies. Tv time reduce to at most only 2 hours per day.. I still want to watch
my Korean dramassssssss! :)
2) No matter how busy I'll get this year, my family must not be neglected. :)
Families are my backbones.
Studies, careers and religion are my mind.
My other half is my heart.
Friends are my spirits.
So, all of these comes to the conclusion; Take good care of your 'body'! :D
3) To fill Tzu Chi into any free slots in my schedule, making time for it. :)
4) Learn Mandarin!! *Semangat semangat* After the camp, I found out that it is really hard to survive in a Chinese language-based country if you don't have a good foundation, rather troublesome at times.

So, basically these are the few main ones.. There will definitely be more to add in as I walk through 2012.

May everything that YOU do turns out smoothly this year.. *prays* :)

~ Thought of the Day 8 ~

Now, shall we spend some time recalling to ourselves? :)

When was it, the last time you hug someone?

Someone who needs it..

Someone who appreciates it...

Or even..

Someone who you loves dearly and means a lot to

you....

Because a hug.. regardless you're big or small can bring changes, influence people around you positively and even bring miracles. :)

♥

~Hugs~

~ When Silence Is the Loudest ~

2011-10-18T00:24:00.000+08:00

Helloooooooooooo.. :)

It has been quite a long time (haha.. yes, I do realize) and I'm actually having doubt if I should be blogging here right now since I should be doing revision instead as WACE Examination is real soon. But there must be a reason why I am here now staring at the laptop with my fingers dancing on the keyboard; giving myself chances one after another to express my thoughts and inner self.. because sometimes, you just need to give yourself some personal space to expand the horizons in you in a way that you will feel absolutely comfortable with. :)

We are the one who choose how to live every second, every day and every moment of our life. :)

Oh yes, in case you're wondering how was my campus life is like so far.. all I can say it was a great experience. Really.. but I'll keep the descriptions to the end when Ausmat ends. I have to admit that my Mock results weren't satisfying, but I certainly do not see the reason why I should feel embarrassed about it and worst, let it further pull down the confidence level in me. After all, there's no one to blame.. So, might as well just still see things from another view, accept it with a smile and take it as a stronger motivating factor. (Yun, go go Go!!) And most importantly, stay optimistic + happy. :)

Humans are created to solve problems but sometimes not all problems can be solved by taking dominant actions. In certain situations, being recessive might appeared as the best solutions after all.

Many times we come across situations whereby we just don't know what to do, how to react and go completely blank except to witness the scenario and feel so helpless. The humanity and kind side of us shines from within when we try to make things better by saying comforting words paired with solutions. But the fact is, sometimes what people want is is not the solutions itself, they need a place they could trust to spill their hearts out. The solutions will emerge naturally after they learn how to accept the situation, solutions that transform, adjust and suits itself according to the person's internal being. Never offer solutions unless being asked to. Each of us is unique in our own different ways.. we have different experiences, needs and preferences no matter how similar we appeared to be like.

Now, let's define ego.

The belief that one is more important, clever and interesting etc. than other people.

How about an ego person?

An ego person is someone who appeared to have a very strong personality on the outside, difficult to deal with and the last person you ever want to mess with. Very unpredictable and very often makes you wonder how can a person ever be this complicated.

Agree? This is what most of us would interpret and very few of us would have the patience to endure, approach and see things from an ego person's side. However, many do not know that in fact, an ego person is actually someone who needs sincere care a lot because he is a very lonely person inside and hence, takes achievements as his closest friends and attentions as pleasure sources.

Just like the dry ice, it takes so much longer time compared to an ordinary ice to melt. But as long as you do not give up trying, you will be able to melt the coldness off any individual.. pieces by pieces.. part by part.. Nobody is born bad, we are all born with a good heart as clear as the mirror I would say. But as we grow up, it got clouded up with the obstacles we faced in life, turning things the way it's not supposed to be. Greed, Ignorance, Doubt, Selfinterest, Pride.. we aren't born with them. We picked them up along the way to protect ourselves. But is it really necessary?

So.. why do I sounds so sure of it?

:)

Oh.. I don't know, all I know my sister never gave up on me and although there were uncountable times when she thought she couldn't make it, yet, she still held on tightly onto my hands while I frantically 'shaked' hers off. She did not let not let go. She never did. She took about 15 years.. Yes, after 15 goods years to finally see and understand things from my view, actions and behaviour, she admitted. And it was that strong determination of her that melted the ego off me. The question is, how did she do it? By just listening and I chose to do the best changes for myself and my life.

Humans are good problem solver, but sometimes we do not want them to solve anything, we just want them to listen.

Thank you for letting me know that there are someone who cares and I am never alone. :)

This life changing experience is just one small example and I am very grateful to have her but how about those out there who are still living their life in isolation, shutting their hearts against anyone that crosses their path and having such misconception of "why do you want to care?"? I am not referring this to only the ego group of people, but also those who are deeply hurt by grief, loss or even have no one to turn to when they're at their lowest. Those who are the prisoners of great disappointment and chained with manacles of confidence lost in life. Those who escaped the grasp of natural disasters..and images of it haunt their mind every night, every moment they shut their eyes and weep silently in the dark. We need to let them know that patches in life can still be sewn together with the needles of great love and thread of compassion by the hands of warmth and comfort.. And YOU can be apart of transforming this beautiful miracles into reality too. Get involved in any social or volunteering or charity activities whenever you can and you will witness how your life will never be the same ever again. For the better, of course.. Trust me, you will. :)

To all the angels out there who have been very supportive.. Thank you and..

Went to watch two movies for the last 2 weeks:

-Watched with siblings and cousins-

Super hilarious, pretty silly and I assure you that you'll feel as if you got 'bombed' over and over again here and there. Over all, it is a good movie to watch if you want a great laugh.. provided that you are someone who is fine with lame scenes as some people may find it very annoying. :)

-Watched with my dear friend, Li Jian :)-

Very exciting but honestly, I can't help laughing when I saw how much 'digital animation' touch is implied in this movie making most action scenes looked really 'fake'. Like seriously.. But, I have to say it is still a pretty enjoyable movie and yes, VERY touching too. :) *Shred tears*

I doubt if anyone of you have ever seen such drinking water bottle brand:

Oh yes, it clearly got the message through. I can't help but to laugh every time I want to take a sip. I've tried asking my mum and surprisingly she said she has absolutely no idea where does this bottle came from. Hmm?? :)

Below is extracted from "The World of Tzu Chi, July 2011, 22nd edition magazine:

"It is not very difficult to say the right thing at the right time but very difficult indeed to avoid saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Wise man always think before they speak, and they never say anything on impulse." Sometimes we may unwittingly praise someone excessively or engage in insincere talk, thus leading us to commit one of the four types of harmful speech. There are also times when we inadvertently fall into the trap of "Not seeing our own faults, but keep talking about the faults of others." This is divisive-abusive speech. At times, in the heat of the moment, we pass sarcastic or derogatory remarks at upset people around us.. and even those we care without being aware.

The four types of harmful speech:
1) Divisive speech

2) Abusive speech

3) Slander/ Lies

4) Gossip/ Flattery/ Idle chatter

The three main rule of speech:
1) If you know something which is harmful and false, don't say it.

2) If you know something which is beneficial but false, don't say it.

3) If you know something that is beneficial and true, then say it at the right time to the right person.

"Is it not prudent to leave nothing unsaid, but there are certain things best left unsaid."

-Zen Master Fa-Yen, Sung Dynasty.

Let's reflect these to ourselves.. Are we actually saying the right thing? :)

To talk is better than to talk more; talking in a nice way is much better and to talk skillfully is the best.

To chatter is easy but to carry on a conversation effectively is an art,

It requires skills and wit.

Silence is golden when there is nothing to say,

And actually, well-timed silence is more eloquent than speech.

:) I suddenly feel like saying this.. To all my quiet friends out there, just want to let you know that I always believe that quiet people are those who are great listeners. So, thank you for being such a great friend in need. I really appreciate you guys.. although you can be pretty quiet at times.. It's okay, let me do the talking. *hehe* But one thing that I can say that if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be more than glad to be that friend, like how you have always been there for me when I need a friend. :)

These are some snapshots taken during the 3 days Tzu Chi camp in Malacca. Enjoy. :)

Where as, these are taken during the recent Tzu Ching 15th Anniversary in SJK(C)Yuk Chai. :)

This may sounds childish but I've always wish to touch the rainbow when I was younger, in which I am never able to do.. Obviously. :)

~Thoughts of the Day 7~

When I was younger, my mum raised my siblings and I in such way that we must never fight back (不能动手动脚) during any conflicts although we may be right. At first I didn't get what was she trying to do back then as I was really still raw in the mind and it is indeed very hard to endure when we got blames and scoldings in things that we never do.. The feeling you get when your cousins were very mischievous, created a lot of troubles and yet all they need to do is to cry when you try to tell them off. We were all about the same age back then and it was indeed very torturing to get scoldings in front of them while watching them smiling behind mum's back. However, at the end of the day, she would sit my siblings and I on the floor and explained why would she react that way.. It was to build great tolerance within us, in terms of speech and behaviour. And I truly appreciate what she has been trying to do for us. :) Recently she read an article in the newspaper as shared it with me when I was helping her out in the kitchen. We should never judge a person although he may be wrong because first of all, we have no right to do that. Same goes to telling and insisting him what he should do because all of us are raised up in a different way and go through distinct past experiences. So, what might appeared to be an insult or mistakes to us might be perfectly normal to another person's norm, or culture beliefs. There are absolutely no wrong or right in certain issues.. So, we should all really avoid doing judgement on other people and start to accept them and their ways of doing things if it does not involves serious crimes. Nobody is perfect, so it is absolutely normal if people make small mistakes. 我们可以看摊时不可以说。最多都是能给义建但不能跟他说什么是一定要做还是不能做的事情因为每一个人有不同的想法。

♥

~Hugs~

~Meal Menu~

2011-08-26T22:40:00.008+08:00

Back to my passion in blogging, in which I have abandoned for almost a month-long period due to Ausmat EE2. Welcome back Cai Yun! ♥ :)

Shall start with the Appetizer: World Vision Malaysia- 30 Hour Famine 2011.

Up to today, I can't help but to admit that fasting for 30 hours wasn't easy.. This was my first time going for this event and for the first 13 hours, I was already starting to wonder why am I doing here in the hall of Taylors' Lakeside Campus 'fishing' my empty tummy with the thoughts of my mum's home made cookings. Omg.. But thank gawd there's the night time so I can forget my hunger for at least 8 hours while asleep. :) The least 'torturing' moment was to anticipate for the last 4 hours countdown at the Bukit Jalil Stadium and although I can feel my tummy screaming but deep inside, I know I'm not the only one who felt this way. As a matter of in fact, there are thousands of youth from all around the country who are here with me today, at this very moment, who put up their most supportive smile and patiently waiting for the countdown of the last 5 seconds. Sometimes, I can really be amazed with the power of human determination. So brimming full with enthusiasm, endurance, and empowerment. 3 cheers for all! :D

Here are some snapshots taken during the event:

(Jo Yi and I. Oh no.. wait.. is that guy trying to be in the picture too? Oops..:p)

(Catch the lights within my big red "fingers" :D)

(Seems more like a live concert than a famine event)

Next on the menu is the Main Course: "_ _ _ _ _ _ _"

7 spaces in total.. Meant to be figured out.. And the first alphabet is the 'W'.. I'll give you one more clue. It is the desire that everyone will have in sight, speech, and actions, particularly in those which bring benefits and the sense of satisfaction. Sounds familiar? :)
Yes, winning is the word. Winning holds a complicated meaning because it can appear in any form, at anywhere and at any time whether it is through:

Sight: Watching your favourite football team playing in the FIFA World Cup match and screaming with every time they score a goal.
Speech: Having debates with your fellow friends on whether who's wrong and who's right.
or even
Action: Competing to score the best exam results among your friends.

In fact, it has also been a very important component in our lives because it is indeed the factor that keeps us pushing and breaking boundaries apart. No doubt, winning is a very pleasant feeling to go through because in some cases..

it makes you feel good about yourself especially when you had put all your heart and effort in doing something.
   it makes you feel recognized by your peers.
   it gives you the sense of achievement to be able to make the
   best out of your life not only for your parents but also for
   yourself.
And the best of all,
   it gives you the confidence to move on. :)

But sadly, winning is never easy.. It is like a war whereby either you gain or lose but.. back to reality, do you really gain fully when you win? We're all born differently so each of us have different thoughts and opinions. So, nobody is really right nor wrong in expressing an argument and that is also the reason why we are all equally special. :) I got a question..
How do you personally define "winning"? :)
For me, I think that there are two types of "winning"; materialism and spiritualism. As materiality is more dominant or perhaps more obvious than the other one, we tend to forgo spirituality because it is something that we keep inside. Unlike materiality which other people can see and we, ourselves can touch. :) But sometimes.. losing doesn't mean that you lose anything but rather gain something from it.. Yes, I mean who wouldn't feel disappointed when our hard effort didn't turn out well like what we expected it to be because we really spend a lot of time in it? But the truth is.. although we might not gain materially but we sure did gain spiritually. It's the experience we have gone through and gained that is worth so much more simply because..

It is learning from losing that made us into who we are today.
Where else winning shows that we grow from our mistakes.

Most of us are are able to win materially but not many could win spiritually as arrogance, ignorance, anger, doubt, pride, greed and the feeling of fear to lose will usually follow close as a 'souvenier' behind winning. So I guess probably this is the reason of why people will tend to feel scared when they achieved something great because it is not easy to get into the position they have today and for the reason they might lose it in the next moment. And it shows when they hesitate to share with others..
But.. we should feel grateful with what we have achieved today and even take the initiative to reach out sincerely to those who approached us for guidance. Why?
Think of the kind-hearted angels who have been there for you when you need help the most, untiying your doubts and request nothing in exchange. If they can sacrifice their time for you and pause whatever they are doing that very moment for you,why can't you do the same for others too? Make sense doesn't it? :)
And.. for those who asked for your help, it shows that you are among the few in the list that would appear in their mind the moment they need assistance the most. All of these and simply because they laid their hope, trust and faith deep in you. Having a mindset that you are someone who is willing to help them. How nice it that? :)

Like a traveler who lose his money slowly by slowly because he didn't bother to stop and mend the hole in his pocket with the urge to arrive at his destination fast.

So for me.. I really think that sometimes, winning is not everything.. especially when we have to be very aware and careful not to lose a part of us bits by bits while walking in the long journey of learning. There is no competitor really.. only one, which yourself. And before you win anything, you need to win yourself; the ability to control your thoughts in mind.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

Give sincerely,
   Love truly.
Apologize sincerly,
   Forgive truly.
Let go of the ugly past,
   Look into the beautiful future.
Remember those who helped,
   Forget who you helped.
Be grateful with what you have,
   And never regret anything that made you smile. :)

Bringing out the Side Dish: Hear my voice in silence.

I'm not the girl with the nicest smile.
I'm not the girl with the smartest brain.
Nor the girl with the most charasmatic attitude.
But I'm an ordinary girl who is trying to make each and every day of my life counts by doing things that I know what I want, should do and enjoy doing. :)
I want to be the girl that could be there for you when you need support the most.
I want to be the girl whom you can rely on when you are at your weakest.
I want to be the girl who can make your day with my presence.

I want someone who can enlighten me and I enlighten you too so we both can help each other and grow together..

Which is not easy to find.
I'm not searching deeply now but whilst on the process of improving myself for this person which I've not found yet.. I'm keeping my eyes open for everyone because I know that he is somewhere out there. :) Although.. it's quite impossible for me to fall for someone who doesn't appoach me nor understand him well.. Why does love just has to be so hard? But sometimes.. it's not about finding the right type of person or not. He might be the one I'm looking for but it is not necessary the other way around.

Girls.. It's never easy to become a girl but how many guys know that? If only they know how difficult for us to like a guy not because we are fussy but it's the sense of fear to approach that guy in order to talk to him. If only they know how much we want to have a proper chat with them but the fact is.. we all know that girls should never be the one to take the first step because most guys will prefer to be the one who starts it all. We know that no matter how perfectly nice a girl is, if she is the one who does the confession there goes it.. image tarnish. We all know that the best way is to be ourselves, speak to him like how good friends do and only pray for the best. Perhaps this does not apply to all guys, I don't know but one thing for sure.. they do not know that the last thing that we would ever want to know from a guy that we like is; we appeared to be just like any other girls. Honestly, that's the most awful thing we wouldn't want to hear because we really hope to be someone that stands out among the rest of the girls at least in his eyes. Yes, we do feel very pressured especially when he is an all girls' ideal guy adding to the fact that there are so many girls who are after him, so much prettier than us but yet got rejected. So it's quite normal for us to have this "If such pretty girl like her got rejected, how'd about me? It's probably even worse.. Perhaps I'm just not good enough for him" kind of thinking. So I guess there is really nothing much we can do.. :/

Just the right time for Desserts.

When you feel stressed out, have a dessert because that's what you get when you turn the word "STRESSED" around. :) All hard work pays off sweetly. If it doesn't, it simply means that we are not working hard enough. Stay optimistic! :D

(Pa la pa pa pa~~ I'm lovin'it <3)

I don't know if I'm supposed to list this under the desserts section but there must be a reason why somehow I just feel like saving this for the last.
*Takes a deep breath* Not long ago, I heard that you are not someone whom you appeared to be like and honestly, I felt a little upset and disappointed when others said the similar things as well.. because it was really quite unbelievable to think that such nice person like you are actually a disguise. So, I thought about it for some time..

(Are you really like what they said you are?)

I might not be sure if what they said was true but one thing for sure, you are my friend and you still have my trust in you and this trust will not fade based on assumptions. What I know is, you have been a real kind friend to me so far and this impression of you as a nice person will stay unless I see it with my own eyes.. or else it's really unfair for you. Nobody is perfect but as long as we did not bring hurt to anyone else, it's fine. I believe you. However, if what they said were right, I'll never give up on a friend like you because I believe you are still a good person inside. And.. you can prove that to those who misunderstood you, alright? :)

~Thoughts of the Day 7~

~Love ♥~

2011-07-18T14:56:00.009+08:00

Time sure seems to past so fast and in a blink of an eye, here comes the two weeks class break that we all have been awaiting for. This is so good to be true.. Aaaaaaaaaahhhh~~ Really don't know what's to best explain-cum-express my feelings right now but I guess the closest point would be imagining me doing this:

*Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy* :D

:) Although it's a good two weeks holiday break but I'm definitely fully utilizing this time to get ready for the coming EE (omg..), get all the sleep I want, gain weight (:P), spend time with my love ones, start stretch-exercising, relax, enjoy, pause and take a deep refreshing breath and yes.. have fun being a part of the Tzu Chi to bring smiles to all. And.. it shall all start from today. 因为我们都是一家人. ♥

Watched Harry Potter right on the first day it was screened in Pyramid Cinema with jie jie, my cousin and his fellow friends from A' Levels. The movie was fantastic, perfectly brewed with fine combinations of exciting, terrifying, hilarious and yet really touching scenes (well, to me at least). :) As usual, my tears flowed like pipe-water and erh.. although it was dark but I can sense that they were all turning their heads to see where does all the 'sniffing' sounds came from. Oops.. sound pollution. Hehe.. Anyway, I kinda felt so bad for assuming that Prof. Snape is a real bad traitor which finally revealed, in the movie that he was indeed, a man full of love for Harry's mother and yet, pressured with huge responsibilities in order to keep Mr. Harry safe so that 'he can die at the right time'. Harry is the last hocrux of Voldemort.

( I'm so satisfied for not watching the wrong movie) :)

By the time the movie ended, it was already 8pm so it's actually quite dark when we crossed the canopy walk to get back to campus in order to get the car in Elephant Walk. I.. was so deeply mesmerized by what I saw:

Sunway's magical architecture.

Check out the moon. :)

Such an enchanting sight of the dark night. The glowing full moon. Gives you a mysterious but peaceful feeling, don't you think so? :)

My heart skip a heartbeat the very first time I saw you.

You're so pure that whenever my eyes lays on every sight of you,
You gave me a sense of calmness and inner peace.

There's just something very special about you that not many have.

.....
Do you know that?

And I can't help but to,

Wish I could water you every day but you're already standing so gracefully and firmly on that pond of pot yourself.

Now, what was you thinking? :p

A white lotus finally bloomed and I'm feeling very delighted. :D As far as I know, it's not easy to get a lotus plant to flower but yet when they do, they wither within a week time. :( So sad right?

你有没有试过一种类型的感觉, ziu 是当你看见一个很安静的人的时候,你会觉得很想要跑去跟她/他说 'Hello!'然后跟她/他交朋友了?我有..但是不是一次还是两次的 shi ching而是很多次了.而是又害怕人jia会觉得我 'something wrong'所以没有这样做. O.o
Eventually, I start to think about it.. Actually, it's quite normal for us to feel shy in approaching someone whom we do not know for example while raising funds for charity but if it's for a good purpose, why would we want to allow the embarrassing feeling to take over our minds and therefore, further limits our action? After all, it's not like I'm doing anything illegal nor bringing harm to other people so there's really no reason why for me not to do that, acting according to my wish. Yes, for me it still does happen sometimes because like you, I'm just a normal human but if this goes on, I'll be missing out all the small fun things you can meet in this world and with this, I've learnt a small interesting fact about life. If you want people to open up to you, you have to open yourself to others first. Share a piece of you and you'll be enlighten by others who got to know you better. Just be brave, everyone likes a little kindness regardless it's in any form such as words or voices. :)
I remembered there was this time when I actually made friends with someone in the campus girls' wash room. Right at the wash room itself. Lol. Why so sudden? Well, simply because we once shared the same study table in the library's discussion room few months ago and she was like randomly asking me some secondary school accounting formula. Since then, and I don't know why, but somehow we met every single day and every single time at the wash room. Lol. Too often and coincidence that we both decided to exchange our email address. The funny thing about that? Right after that day, I have hardly stumbled across her anymore but we're still contacting through Facebook messaging. And I even found out that she's my classmate's roommate. Life's pretty unusual isn't it? :)

Four days ago, my mum got a laugh of her life when she woke up early in the morning only to find out that the house's gate was broken open with just an item missing.
.....
Her bonsai plant.
About ten years old plant, to be exact.
Oh, it's just so.. wow. Thieves nowadays, so surprising that I'm absolutely stunned, speechless and got no comment. *Laughs* But yeah, it was a gift from my dad so I guess she's kinda upset about it but merely faking it up that she's completely fine with the loss. I'm a girl too, mum. *Sigh* Anyway, what's stolen is already gone. Hopefully that the money gained from the sale of our beloved bonsai tree will be put into good use.

Spent about 10 long hours at the Global Art Center to help Miss Gina to make some soft clay samples in conjunction with her church's Feast Day which will be held on the 30th of July. But it was pretty relieving that I wasn't alone in making all the clays myself because probably, I'll be bored for not having anybody to chat with. We were given a few craft books to refer because Miss Gina, the principle didn't know how to make them so, these are what Irene and I both slowly collaborated together to figure out ways to work our hands to transform the clays into:

Squirrels and Snails.

Baby Chick by Irene and Papa Rooster by me.

Tortoise and Ant.

Apple by Irene and Brinjal by me.

However, Irene have to leave by 2pm because she needs to head to the Japanese Bon Odori Festival 2011 so I spent the next 4 hours in making this:

What do you think of this? :D

For a moment, I really felt like bringing it home but it's for the art center, so 'bo pian'. :/ But it's okay, I have the clays at home so I guess I can always make another one for myself since I already know how to do so. :)

Tzu Chi and UNHCR Community-based School Sports Day 2011.

The night before, I set my alarm at 5.30 am so that I could get ready by 6.30 am to go to the stadium with Claire shigu and Tham shibo. We need to arrive at the Cheras stadium by 7am to report ourselves.

However...

I woke up with the phone call of Claire shigu at 6.40am. Omg.. Felt so guilty but both shigu and shibo weren't pissed at all although I was late and yet, they can even crack a joke when I admitted I couldn't wake up. Such nice people. :) In addition to me being late, there's a massive traffic jam at such time in the morning and later on, we kind of figured out why with the sight of the policemen and two cars in such bad conditions that it does make us wonder if the victims are able to 'make it through' or not. May they be alright.. Anyway, we were late by 20 minutes but surprisingly, the event hadn't started. I'm assigned to be at the children area at all times to look after them, mainly to bring them to the washroom, make sure they're perfectly comfortable at their seats by coming out with all sorts of of movement-restricted games and sang songs with them with the rest of the volunteers who are in the same group as me. It was kind of fun with the frequent cheering for each of the participants whenever they're racing on the race track. Jia you!! :D Just to let you know, there are quite a few number of refugee schools that day which can be easily identified by the number printed on their T-shirts. The 141 young children that I'm in care of were from the TTT School (Taman Tasik Tambahan, number 7) and here are some snapshots of that day:

What a beautiful morning to start the day. :)

The Tzu Chi markas.

Young talented musical players.

Thirsty for water.

Distributing the lovely 'pom poms'

Getting ready.

On the mark.. get set..

Goooooo!!!!!!! :D

Aaaaahhhhh!! Run run run!!!!!!!!

Getting into their respective seats.

The unspoken promise. :)

This is the way of how you shake your 'pom poms'.

Nervous moments..

A small request, pay attention to these two girls on the following photos. :)

Jia youu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I look at you.

You look at me.

We both look at each other.

You start cheering. *Yeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!*

We both got bored.

You looked kind of stylo with that.

Oh, she saw us. Let's pose for the camera! *Peace*

Don't move, she wants a second shot.

Peace! :)

I can do that too. :D

Okay, so basically, this is what I want to show about these two very adorable girls. :) Moving next.

Hey, I can wear this.

Cheeers!!!

Three good friends.

Owh.. you guys are so clever. Yup, we're ONE family. ♥

The board says "Somali Restore Hope School".

We might be small but together, our spirits are big.

Peace to you too, little ones.

Wonderful poses. :)

Erh.. I didn't bully him, seriously.. Actually I told him "Kakak nak ambil gambar, boleh?" and he was eating halfway and he thought I didn't allow him to eat so he put that cute upset face on. Sorry sweetheart. :)

"Tak ape, adik boleh terus makan". :) Yumm yumm..

Awwww... :)

Singing the "Yi Jia Ren" song.

Wave to the crowd.

Waiting for the winner announcements. Go go School 7!

The last photo of the day when School number 7 (TTT) was announced as the Best Sportsmanship Award. Omg.. I'm very proud of each and everyone of you. :) *So touched* :)

What a great day although I have to admit that the whether was blazing sunny and it was very tiring that I ran out of energy supply by the time I reached home. Really enjoyed all the fun moments I have with the children and you know what? They all gave me a great gift at the end of the day. The gift of bringing out the small girl in me once again. Thank you. :D

~Thoughts of the Day 6~

Children are no doubt, the purest angels we can ever meet in every corner our lives because they were all so innocent and pure in mind. A rich home; consisting of only working adults can never feel the same pleasure that a poor home with children has because a house can never be a home without the warmth from the laughters of the children. However, it is really heart soaring to read the newspapers only to come across repeating cases of children being abandon, abused, sodomized, turn into slavery while the fact is these wonderful creations are not supposed to go through harsh lives due to the mistakes that we human do.. Awaken your mind and think, would you want to go through the sufferings that not-so-lucky children have if you one of them yourselves? No. You might be lucky for not ending up as a victim yourself but there's a probability that your children might.. And it all starts from the responsibilities within you and the society. So let us all open up our eyes and plant the seed of great love within ourselves to love children and not hating them because you think they're "annoying". We were once a children ourselves and although we have grown up into who we are now but, in our parents' eyes, we are and will forever still be their children. If they can love us so much, for accepting all the flaws we have, we should pass this love around to those who doesn't have them so they too, can experience the wonderful feeling of being loved and cared for. ♥

~Hugs~

~Rise when the sunshines~

2011-07-15T05:35:00.001+08:00

Good morning...

Today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all of my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart to out to others, to achieve enlightment for the benefit of all being, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry. I am going to benefit from the day as much as I can. :)

Just feel like posting something out of sudden.. :) *Stretches*

~Hugs~

~More Reasons to Smile~

2011-07-11T00:45:00.004+08:00

Allow me to begin this post with a smile.
:)
Why? Simple cuz' I'm feeling like a four-leaves clover.

Dearest Buddha,
Thank you so much for creating so many sweet humans on Earth, so sweet that they are all equally sweeter than chocolates.. called family, relatives and friends. Their presence made each and every day of my life counts and glow with nothing else but love and laughter. As I was stepping into 18, somehow, I felt you're with us all the time, watching us from above and blessing us all with enlightenment. Amitofo. :)

8th July 2011.

Had Accounts test on Share Issues today and just like usual, I woke up early to finish my revision as I watched the silent dark night transformed into lighter hues of blues when the glory sun pierced the sky with streaks of light. It's beautiful when the world is still deep in sleep, don't you think so too? :) Went to school with a light heart and the world once again, spoiled me with pretty curves call smiles and birthday greetings~ just enough to make my day worth it. CAE class got cancelled and thank gawd, I really need that precious time to study so eventually, Sim Nan and I headed to the library only to find Alicia asking me to accompany her to the cafeteria as she's literally hungry for food. Haha.. Upon arriving, I was surprised to see Li Jian appeared with a cute brown cake with strawberries toppings followed by Realing, Kar Ying, Sara and Yat Meng. Oh my gawd.. I just got 'cheated'. *Laughs* Received this nicely made birthday card hand made by my dear Li Jian and adding too the fact that she actually stayed up to 4am to DIY it, together with a little cute pink card from Yat Meng. Then, Alicia was like asking me whether if I've submitted my entry on the Dell Laptop skin design contest in which, I hadn't, so she encouraged me to grab a piece to draw on which eventually turns out to be like this:

Thank you Li Jian for the wonderful colour marker pens. :)

The theme says "Youth Express" and yeah, this is what I would love to express to the world. :) <3

After that, Kausalya, Sheril, Sheik and Adam came with more birthday greetings and surprisingly, Mr Shake got me a small gift~ from the college's bookstore. Hahahaha.. So funny but real sweet! So in the end, what was left was only less than an hour for me to study the remaining accounts notes. :p

After class ended, I totally forgotten about the celebration part with my dearest family and on that very night itself, honestly, I was wondering why there was a blueberry-cheese cake on the table as it was already 11.37pm~ until I saw my name on it. Aih.. So blur of me. :) So, here came a new way of eating the yummy-licious cake with 5 spoons scooping parts and parts of the cake until it disappears. :D

9th July 2011.

At first mum did not allow me to leave the house due to the road block in PJ but after listening to the news on the radio that morning, she finally gave a green light. Thank youuuuu so much mummy, I knew you weren't going to break your promise although that means I have to leave by 3pm. But it's okay, I'm satisfied enough. :) Arrived campus at 9.30am to do some research for ACF assignment and EALD presentation before heading off to Sunway Pyramid with Vip Kent. Knowing that we might not be able to have our lunch later, he suggested to take brunch at the Simple Life Vegetarian Restaurant nearby in which, got me thinking like "Oh wow.. how did he know??" because I was, as a matter of in fact, really thinking of having it there too but wasn't too sure if he would mind or not. I was.. really surprised. Perhaps he knew I wish to have a vegetarian diet.. I don't know. But either how, he was indeed, the first friend whom I took vegetarian meal with for the first time in an outing. :) I remembered the waitress was really nice and I felt happy looking at her also but it does made me wonder why was she smiling for the whole entire time while serving us. Was it because we were the only customers that morning? O.o? I'm not too sure but if there's a feedback form, I'll give her a 10/10. :)

So fulling, had a hard time scooping the noodles with chopsticks. :p

Skating was fun and Vip Kent was very helpful from the beginning until the end at the skating ring so that I could reduce the risk of falling down. I felt it's quite normal for him to do that because.. it's just so him.. his attitude; Kind Kent. And if I were to add another word, it would be thoughtful. :)

Thank you for everything yesterday, truly appreciate with what you had done for me as a really good friend. It was just so touching and I really like the ppoint slide. Gan en. :)

Chen Yi xue zhang came to my house later that evening at about 6pm to share with me a huge tupperware of 'tong shui' that he cooked himself:

So delicious looking right? It does not only serves the eyes but also the soul,literally. :)

Sincerely speaking this from the bottom of my heart but xue zhang, if you were to open a dessert shop, you'll definitely outbeat the rest of the 'tong shui' shops out there. :) Gan en!! Noted that Chen Yi xue zhang is the xue zhang for Sunway College's Tzu Ching, so this is probably the reason why he treats his Sunway Tzu Chings' so well. Fuiyoo.. so lucky mannnnn. :)

It's kind of disappointing that I have to kept on pausing halfway while skating due to the screaming feet. Guess this is the outcome for not having a proper exercise after SPM ended. I really miss basketball. *Sigh* Kind of looking forward for the Sunway YES Club Leadership and Team building event because I really feel like ringing the bell and start ruuunniiinnnnnggggggggg :D

Previously, I've taken part in the 'Fun Walk' or 'Walk for Health' by the NGOs and it's actually kind of fun and no doubt, pretty exhausting but you'll feel very refreshing right after that. And yes,quite happy too. :) I saw some flyers recently about something to do with 'Walking for Charity' and felt probably it's quite some time I should catch up with all those exercises that my body is yearning for but now, we will have to see if my schedule allows it. :)

Mum came back from her grocery shopping this evening with the 'Yoga Mail' magazine and oh wow.. I didn't know there are so much goodness lying in between of doing yogas. Mmhmm.. looks pretty interesting if you ask me and also, a good idea since mum doesn't really allow me to leave the house without the rest of the guys. Aren't pepper sprays designed to meet safety precaution needs? Anyway, merely doing sit ups every day just can't do the trick.. This is what my bro zat me:

Chye Soon: Jie, go find a 'Yoga for Dummies' book. You need that and it suits you.
Me: Erhem.. Excuse me?! *While thinking that it actually make quite make some sense here.. Thanks bro!" :p

~Thoughts of the Day 5~
Life's so short and unpredictable that you won't know what you will get today nor lost tomorrow. Just like the land or natural resources, words like promises will also start to become more and more valuable in time because we can't see what's next in display in our life. There was once this incident in Tzu Chi, whereby a young volunteer promised a man living with HIV that she will get him the 'char kue teow' food that he had been yearning for so badly in her next visit, which will be in the following month. He was indeed.. very happy. Finally, the day that he had been longing for has arrived. However, her presence could not be felt. The man, in despair, patiently enquire the volunteers about her absence which left him disappointed but.. he's still filled with hope, believing that she will come on the next visit.

Finally she came. But things wasn't the same anymore.. she was told that he wasn't around with them any longer.

Promises are not made to be broken. Perhaps it's time for us to start taking promises seriously and never leave an unanswered question hanging in the thin thread because there might be someone out there who is still waiting for your answer.
.......
And also some who couldn't live long enough to wait for you to fulfill the promises you had made for them. Broken promises are made out of two words: hurt and regret.

Lying~ that's probably the last thing I would ever want to do in my life and there's actually quite some connection between that and breaking promises. It links, if you can see the same thing like I do. To up to date, honestly, I still do remember all the promises I've made and will try my best to fulfill them because honestly, I do not want other people to do the same thing to me too. Would you? :)

~Hugs~

~Silent Thoughts~

2011-07-03T22:07:00.000+08:00

On and off, for the purpose of fun means, in certain situations, I was asked whether does physical appearance matters to me? How about the strength and weaknesses that one possesses?

To tell the truth, I never really thought about it. It never crossed my mind if I were to give my friends different treatments based on first impression or how they appeared to me simply because I do not talk but I speak to them sincerely to know them from within. Somehow, having good looks is just a bonus but it's what you have inside that beautiful heart of yours that really matters because it's also what people appreciate, remember and love you for; your own special attitude. :)

I hope there are someone in the world who are smiling right now.

In the world that we're in now, it's not easy for people to express how they really feel inside because nowadays, it's quite hard to find someone whom they can really trust inside. But if they do tell you that;

they care for you, they really mean it.
they are worried for you, they really do.
they cried for you, they really love you.
and when they say they love you,
they seriously do.

So, I guess that's the reason why I really like the message status of...

" Did you know that those who appear to be really strong, are often the most sensitive? Did you know that those who spend all their time taking care of others, usually really need someone to take care of them? Did you know that 3 of the hardest things to say are: I love you, I'm sorry and Help me... "

that my sister posted on her Facebook account and re-posted it to see how people react towards it. Surprised but it's kinda nice to find each of us have something in common and still struggling to overcome it together. Somehow, Mr Oliver's sharing on the Flight text in the EALD 3A syllabus inter-relates with this; it's not other people that stops you from getting what you want but yourself. And to do that, you must first overcome yourself.

Apologizing simply means that you treasure the relationship rather than putting the ego-istic your first.

Asking for help simply means that you open up your heart to accept your lack rather than putting yourself in denial state.

Confessing simply means that you found that one missing puzzle who completes you and will collect your courage to refrain her from leaving you rather than building fence out of low self confidence.

At the end of the day, it comes down to asking yourself 3 simple questions:

How much does it means to me?

How far am I willing to go for it?

Is it worth it?

P.s.: This is one part you will learn from watching Transformers. :)

Nobody can know the answer better than you do. Some people are really lucky as they have already found their purpose in life. There are also some who are still beating around the bush, still unsure of what they are born to do and achieve in life but... they're not giving up. Each and every one of us is different and therefore, have distinctive ways of life and there are some people who found their life partner in just a day while some could spend decades of their life years in search for the right one. So, if you found her or him, do not let go because you will never be sure when you're going to find the same person ever again. Same goes to your dreams and goals in life. :)

I know this sounds weird but I find my mum rather rather cute when she gets angry, confused, or starts mumbling and nagging at the whole world and I can't help but to start laughing. LOL. And one good thing about that? It sorta cools her down~~ sometimes. :p

Join the word 'art' and 'politics' together and you will get the ugly side of Picasso's world, finely camouflage with streaks of paint. Art, is not as beautiful as what it seems to be like; I've gone through many of it since I was 10 and if I were to describe my experience with one word, it's 'tougher'. Definitely. Such an intense , competitive, and evil place to be where you'll see all the 'flaws' that human possess from all angles and can even make a collection out of them. Incidents of winners who went home empty handed due to the filing of complains by the competitor's parents to the judge because they weren't quite satisfied with the results announced were quite a norm. The wonders of reasons filled with such creative lies just to pull you down from the top 3 placing that they can come out with was just so... "amazing". I mean, the participants are just children as young as 12 years old (age limit) and what kind of sense of humanity is that to snatch the prize and position they all deserve away from them? They're only children...

Big meanie. Big bullies. Should find a better hobby yeah? :)

2nd of July 1995- The day that I've never been and felt so much luckier. I was given the greatest gift by Buddha; my dearest brother. Not to exaggerate or feeling so proud of him but he is in fact, one of the nicest guy among the very few that I've ever met as he practically treats EVERYONE with a sincere heart, so kind that often, my mum was flooded with compliments by her friends, our neighbor and yes.. his teachers. Too nice that I do get worried if he'll get cheated or being used by his friends and YET his emotions are not triggered a single bit. Perhaps he was just disguising it well, I don't know but I'm really grateful to have him. And so yesterday night he was making a wish with both his eyes closed before blowing the candles, it took him like.. 3 minutes (I think) and only Buddha knows what's this lovely brother of mine are wishing for. Whatever it is, deep inside, I was quietly praying for him to have a great life and to be blessed with good health. Love you brother. :)

Happy 16th Birthday :)

Woke up at 6am today for Tzu Chi; this time it's a visit to Sungai Buloh. Completely different from what I have thought, the environment wasn't close at all to a proper center-like-looking compared with the HIV Community Center in Batu Arang but INSTEAD, it looks like a lovely village surrounded with absolutely eye-opening and mesmerizing flowers as you walk towards the areas. So beautiful that my grammar level itself could not fully describe what my eyes saw so thank gawd, I was conscious enough to take some pictures. Ka chak :)

Most of the villages are those precious human in their golden age and they're all equally cute, friendly and my heart literally melted numerous times with every sight of their smiles. Aww.. As you could see from the pictures above, those flowers are planted by these ah ma's and ah gong's themselves, a small but decent activity to earn money for their living and yes, they do get some money from the government monthly. Somehow, it kinds of made me think of something.

我们不知道自己会活到多久, 但是如果只能活一天, 也要好好'guo'日子.

(Translated slowly one-by-one from english word to chinese using

trial-n-error method by from Google Translate. Whew.. so tiring :p)

a.k.a.

We do not know how long we will be able to live and just say if we were to left only a day of our life, we still have to live that one day meaningfully.

So, we should really cherish every single second, opportunity and breath we have by performing good deeds and contributing back to the society because.. we might not want to feel regret later on in life. Treasure our parents well and all individuals whom you love and means a lot to you yeah? :)

Three years has passed, you are in New Zealand and I have moved on with my life but recently, I received news from the birds that you hadn't. If I can do it, why can't you too?

Entering Sunway College has always been a great pleasure and I made quite a number of good friends who made each and every second I spent in campus quite enjoyable and meaningful. However, close at heart, I've never forget about the very few close friends I have that made me to whom am I today. I've never thought that I will find someone who absolutely does not have any blood relation with me and yet who knows me so well that she can even read me like a book and see through my thoughts like a glass. Perhaps, until now, she is the only one who knows that I do not open my door easily to other people and nonetheless, I do not fall for a guy easily. Quite hard, I would say but when I do... I will appreciate him a lot and love him just the way he is because like what I have said, it's not easy for me to find for someone who I really love. In fact, I wouldn't want him to change for me at all because by just being the way he is... he is utmost the most perfect guy I have ever met. ♥ :)

~ Thought of the Day 4~

Sometimes when we are dealing with people and matters in our life, we will tend to get frustrated and mad with things. Usually, we will hold on to our temper and frustration in order to deal with it but after some time, the annoyed feelings still stay and eventually we have a hard time trying to get rid of it easily. Gradually, this feelings develops into a knot in our heart and naturally, we will tend to dislike people who appears having the same 'characteristics' as the person we dislike in the past. This is actually quite unfair for those who 'appears' to be like that particular person, don't you think so? :) So, instead of letting our emotions control us, we should, as a matter of in fact, let go of the past by harboring gratitude towards people at all times. Even if we know that person is deliberately giving us trouble, we still have to be grateful to him or her; for letting us nurture our hearts of gratitude and grow our wisdom in dealing with it. With that, we get to know how strong our state of tolerance are, and how broad our heart is in treating the person after the matter is over. :) If we can learn to nurture a heart of gratitude, then no matter what kinds of people and situations we encounter in the future, we will eventually respect all the people involved, and deal it with love instead of anger and frustration.

Gan en! :)

~Hugs~

~Delayed Chronology~

2011-06-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

"No worry, it's my pleasure and duty to take care of you. All the best to you. Continue to work hard, study hard and most importantly be filial to your parents and take good care of them and your other family members."
Cheng Jee shigu.

I got so touched and it was a very warm feeling that I felt after reading this sms from her, but shigu, am I doing enough for her, my mum? I do know that all mothers are almost the best creation on Earth not to mention the uncountable sacrifices they made just to mold us into who we are and what we have today. I once vowed to myself that I'll never want to see her cry or get upset ever again and will do anything that to see her smile every day. And up to now, I am still hanging strong to this promise; a promise that she didn't know I made since 7 years old.

I've just calculated that I've not been updating my blog for about 3 week so I'll got a long list to share with you guys. :)

3 weeks ago
Went to work for a 3 days part time job at Global Art Centre to teach young children how to make handicrafts out of soft clays and here's two pictures I managed to snap after we're done with it:

Fast foods (Sorry McD, didn't meant to imitate your products but the children picked to make you. :p)

(A tray filled with lollipop, french toast, biscuits, pumpkin, fruits and OREO :D)

Frankly speaking, I got a bit 'mm se tak' with my two young students at the end of the third lesson although we only met for three days because they were both so sweet. May Buddha bless them both always. :)

2 weeks ago

The last time we learnt how to prepare new food was the Japanese sushi's and for this time, it's the food of our own traditional Chinese culture; a food that existed for a long time ago. Something white and soft.
*Spotlight*

It's THE PAOs. *Wootss~~ clap clap* :p

1) Trying to wrap the fillings in the dough flour like how paos usually look like but in the end, it ended up looking like an onion. (Hehe..)

2) Baby size pao with kaya fillings *Yummm*

3) Before: Paos being arranged on the steamer plate before taking to steam.

4) After: Oh my gawd.. so BIG right?

* Take note that both trays are not the same trays so the paos that are placed in them are different but they're all approximately the same in sizes before going through the steaming process.*

Look kinda big, if you ask me but the fact is that if you see it real with both eyes, each of the paos are about 15 cm wide in diameter. So, we were all shocked at first when the steamer cap was removed only to reveal that our small, innocent and cute-looking paos became so big. *Pao pao, why you grow so fast? Naughty.* Probably due adding too much of yeast or not succeeding rolling the dough properly to remove the air bubbles. But it's okay, still taste as great as the sushi. :)

1 week ago

Location: Sunway College Cafeteria
Time : 11.30 a.m.

Supported Sunway College's "Plant a Tree" campaign on Wednesday because I love the idea of contributing small effort to raise awareness among the students that it is never too late to start caring for our dear Earth. As donors are given a yellow board so that they could all leave a message of what they wish to tell the world and I did, had quite a hard time trying to figure what to write on it. After some time, I thought that it was right after joining Tzu Chi that I started to be concern about the environment so this is what I wrote:

*Fuyoo* I can write Chinese! Well, the embarrassing fact is that's among the few Chinese words or 'roses among the thorns' that I will never forget how to write in my whole entire life. Da Ai; meaning Great Love not only to ourselves, society and also the environment. :)

Actually, we will also be able to do our part for the environment by going vegetarian but it is not easy as I have to consider my family's opinion about it. Usually the right thing to do is not being selfish and to see things from other people's point of view. Plus the fact that my mum does get pissed if I do not take meat because, according to her, I already look like a walking stick (lol, I know mum) but I can't help it. Not that I don't eat a lot at home, she stuffs me with lots of food but sad to say that her effort never.. succeed? Although I, myself am really wishing to gain weight but I have to admit that there are some times when I skipped brunch in college for personal reasons. :p

Occasionally, Tzu Chi will be organizing free health talks for the community and the latest one was to give a deeper understanding of the terminal disease. I was there to help a shigu to take down notes on the program, given the agenda sheet as a reference and to write a report out of it. Generally, I find it really enjoyable to be able to gain new experience and at the same time, sharpen my knowledge about this disease.

I remembered a shibo once said "In Tzu Chi, you will see, hear and encounter all sorts of things that you could not be able to get elsewhere." It was a sharing by a man in during the talk program somehow, managed to reflect perfectly with the shibo's words. Here's a copy of a part of the report I wrote based on the situations I observed that day:

" After he was done, Dr. Chan was presented a small souvenir by the English group coordinator and a lovely sign language presentation entitled “Giving Love” was performed to all. Deep inside, we know that giving love and spiritual support is the best thing we can do for cancer patients so that we can all overcome it together. Before the talk comes to an end, a man spoke and shared his personal past experience to all. As tears filled his eyes, he slowly unfolds the painful experience he once had when his beloved mother was succumbed to breast cancer, a fact that was quite hard for him to accept. It was such a great pain that even the doctor cannot give morfin to reduce the pain and he was stuck between the decision of letting his mother go peacefully or watching her painfully fighting for her life. By the time he finished, we were deeply moved by his story as we listened with full compassion and watched him silently cry with watery eyes. The atmosphere went still and silent for a short moment when Dr. Chan comforted him with care that it was not the man’s fault based on the medical technology the country had back then. He did it out of love and made a decision, a tough decision, a decision he finally managed to make in the end so he is never wrong and nobody else can say that too. "

I have to admit that after hearing his story, I went to school the next day with a heartache because I can really feel the pain he had inside. To me, he's actually quite tough to be able to gain the courage to share his bitter experience to us all which is not an easy step for him but.. he did it. Let us all pray that Buddha will mend his scar and get over it soon yeah? :) Amitofo.

CAE Task 2 Presentation;

Wore heels to school today for formal clothing purposes and oh my gawd.. the heels are killing me. Literally. It was fine for the first 2 hours but as time flies, I began to wonder how did the office lady managed to stand walking around with heels for the whole day. It is just so.. amazing, don't you think so too? :) I even lost count of the numerous times I wish I could just remove my shoes and walk barefooted up and down the college IF and only IF people won't stare at me when I do that. Haha.. I wish! :)

And my goodness gracious, the last thing I've ever want to do during the CAE presentation was to get nervous breakdown which.. I did. *Sigh* It was sort of sad and disappointing because it's a group marks we're all working for and I really don't want the awkward moment I have to affect it at all. Especially when I saw how Vip Kent and Jia Jin did their best to present their part well and it's definitely not worth it to lose marks just because I didn't do mine smoothly. So guilty. :( So, in the end, I tried to cover up my mistakes at the second part of the slides hoping it'll work. Wheww... :)

当你喜欢一个人，你是不是会偷偷看他?

............................................

Wo hao xiang you dian kai shi xi huan shang ni le.

~Hugs~

~ 5 minutes to 12a.m. ~

2011-06-10T23:22:00.000+08:00

I was quite upset recently as I've not been doing as well as I should have done for my EE. My econ marks was way below average, a surprise so huge that I couldn't accept at first. Imagine the feeling you get when your econ marks were never below an 80 back then in secondary school and what is displayed in your eyes right now is just so.. omygawd. *Squeek* So I guess what Miss Visha said was right, we need to change the way we study. After all, I've been using the same studying method since primary up to secondary and this kinda looks like a morning call to tell me that it's time to modify my learning system already. Mm.. It's okay, let's see how the new plan works. :) Jia you Yun!! :D

Went to Sunway Pyramid for an early Subway lunch with four good friends, something that I've never thought would happen as it's all so sudden and spontaneous. urm.. How'd am I supposed to say this? Can't find the right word to describe. :p Anyway, the restaurant was crowded with quite a number of children in identical and matching striking red T-shirts whom I thought were orphans at first. I don't know why but I have this special kind of feeling (mixture between joy and stuff) the very moment I see them although they're total strangers to me simply because they reminds me of the young HIV children in Rumah Jaireh. Eventually, I can't help but to start waving and saying 'hi' to them. Later only I found out that these children are actually our country's young and talented sports players who might bring fame to the country in the future. Ooopsss.. So embarrassing but I'm kinda glad to find out that they did not turn to be orphans like what I've thought. :) Amitofo. :)

One month seems to past so fast and in a blink of an eye, I'll be visiting Rumah Jaireh again tomorrow morning with my fellow Tzu chi volunteers and.. a good friend who will be joining us for the first time and I really hope to bring more friends along in the next visit in July. :) Aaahhh.. can't wait for it, really miss the children so much. :D

I saw many trees which got cut down just to give way for construction sites today while crossing canopy walk.. Kinda saddening to see the bare grounds but anyhow, let's just hope new trees will be planted soon right after they're done with their job. :(

My mum never throw away egg shells (selected ones) because this is what she wants me to do with them:

I supposed you'll be wondering what she does with them and yes, she actually decorated the plants with it. :)

~ Thought of the Day 3 ~

Regret.

Just six small alphabets but it carries a big meaning, so powerful that it can actually make your mind wander off into the memory of your past. After a moment or two, you'll start to realize that you have been unlocking, blowing dust throughout your way of searching and flipping through files containing catastrophe that once struck your life. Regret comes flowing in when you did not do something that you wish you had done, an painful experience that gives you a lesson worth a lifetime.

I don't want to regret for not living a meaningful life when I am still in this world and doing things that I could do to help the people out there who need spiritual support and love.

I don't want to regret for not cherishing every single moments I have with my family.

I don't want to regret for not giving my all in studies.

I don't want to regret for not appreciating all the good friends I have now.

I just dislike the feeling of regret but nobody is perfect so I do make mistakes sometimes. However, no matter how sour things turns out like, I will never hate my life but rather to enjoy every single ups and downs in it simply because I love it. Everything comes from choices you make. There was once this story which I read online about this young man who will ask himself of how he wants his day to be like every morning when he woke up from sleep. He chose happy over sad. If things did not go smoothly, he choose to learn from his mistakes instead of wasting his time mourning over it and so on. I'm sure you can see the whole idea of what's he's doing. He's just choosing the better option and following it attentively. Simple as that and it's actually kind of easy if we learn to stay calm at hard times and see things from a different point of view. I'm in the process of learning this. Would you?

Something small to end the day:

* I hope that every day of your life will be filled with colours. :) *

~Hugs~

~ At the end of the Rainbow ~

2011-06-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

My precious stone.

4th of June, the day she was borne into this world and ever since then, she had been a very important individual in my life. Had she gave up on me, I would have been a total different person as I am now, perhaps someone who is still introvert inside and locking myself in isolation, refusing to open my door to anyone else but myself. Yes, hard to believe but this was once true. She once confessed that I could be the toughest girl that anyone could understand and she could never succeed figuring out what's in my mind until that very day; when I finally broke down into tears and spilled my hearts out. So much after years of living together and for more than 12 years of sisterhood, it was never an easy journey for both of us. No words can describe all the things you had done for me and for that what you did that made me who I am now. You lift my spirit off the ground when I was down deep into the blue sea and walk the darkest time with me with a warm smile. You're always sincere and was not only my best listener, advisor, supporter but also a friend who has been placing myself first right in front of yourself from the very beginning and I promise do the same to you too. Simply because you're my sister and I love you.

Thank you jie for everything. Happy 21st Birthday. :)

Tagged along with Claire shigu for the Home Visit in Batu Caves under Tzu Chi yesterday with just a few numbers of senior volunteers. At first it doesn't make any sense to me of why there are only 6 of us in total instead of the usual 30 who usually helped out in the HIV Community Center in Batu Arang. Later did I know the reason why. We arrived at a housing area of flats who's clothes looked pretty worn out of paint from the outside and the condition didn't turn for the better in the inside either. We took the lift up to the 17th floor, headed to a greyish brown coloured door through a small corridor and were greeted by a four years old boy who popped his head between the door gap with a huge beam on his face. Upon entering, I was stunned to find that the house holds 13 Indian family members ( 11 children and 2 adults) and it was so small that you can easily 'explore' the whole area by not moving a single inch.

The room isn't fully equipped with any household devices and their only source of light was from the window itself. I wonder how'd their night life will be like. As the weather was mild when we first visited them in the morning, however, the heat was intolerable when the sun started blazing hot the moment the clock struck 1pm. Adding to the fact that all 19 of us gathered in the small but decent room. Deep inside, we know they are grateful to be able to shelter themselves from the non-constant weather changes and having a proper place to sleep at night. Although they're living in a poverty stricken condition however, the children showed deep interest and were keen to fight hard against their strongest enemy: Language. Communication was a huge barrier and this raises concern as we were afraid they wouldn't be able to communicate with the society. So, we taught them how to speak basic English, hoping that it will at least help them when they leave school and enter the workforce. After the teaching session, Claire shigu gave them all each cute little stickers as a form of motivation so they will push themselves harder. Although the gifts wasn't much but in such situation......

It's not about the price of the item that matters but the thoughts.. the sincere thoughts of giving that worth a million smiles. :)

Made this with a young friend of mine:

Cute? :)

100% DIY 'n' made with lots and lots of glues, newspapers, and some paints. :) I gave her the bunny tho, but it's okay as the photo too holds a lot of memories. :)

~ Thought of the Day 2 ~

Often we come across news about people living in poverty stricken areas, some of them suffer from malnutrition, some suffer a painful death from diseases, kids running around villages without proper clothing attire with their hair un-comb and the adults struts and frets about live their life with frustration thinking when will these sufferings finally end in the newspapers and TV channels. Yes, I am pretty sure that most of us feel heavyhearted after watching the hardship faced by millions of lives globally. However, we will not be able to fully understand all the things that they have gone through simply by just watching them through the screen unless...

we see them personally with out own eyes

listen deeply into their voices

understand with compassion with out thoughts

and feel it with nothing else but our heart

Nobody is born perfect but if everyone work together, we can all fill in the gaps in between of what we lack. It's like cutting a piece of fabric out of your own clothes and exchange it among your friends. Each fabric will not fit perfectly into the holes in our clothes but the gaps can be mend if you take your time to slowly sew them together. Instead of having just one type of fabric, you will have a collection of different colours, textures, prints and size. By then, each of us will have a unique piece of each other- we learn what we do not have in the beginning. :) One who is kind, never selfish to share and gives himself selflessly to help the ones in need will never lose but only gain happiness in life. After all, nothing beats the joy of seeing the beautiful curve you put on someone's face with a kind act of yours. The small deeds you do might seems nothing to you but it may in fact.. means a lot to others.

The power of small act. :)

~Hugs~

~A Tribute to the Angels Out There~

2011-05-28T13:20:00.000+08:00

4 EEs down, and just one more to go; econs- almost like a foreign friend as it's so different compared with the secondary school syllabus. It was kinda surprisingly to know that college's economics standard is a huge leap, probably due to the switch in language and the non-stop numeric datas but it's okay I guess. The infos actually kinda relate to each other in some kinds of ways and it is the matter of time of how fast I can get used to it. So.. gambatteh!! :D Haha.. I feel so much better now after Mr Account EE broke even my heart into two yesterday. Literally. :)

Thank gawd it's Saturday. :) Although it have been a pretty stressing week however, I am glad that I took some time off my books into learning how to make sushi's. Yup, sushi's. :)

Clockwise from left top corner:
Ingredients and Materials:
First Row: Cucumber strips, Kimchi bits, Salmon fish
Second Row: Abalone slices, Prawns, Tunas, Vinegar Rice
Third Row: Chopping board, Sushi Bamboo Mat, Roasted Seaweed

Here's a peak of how 3 hours of my time fruited:

Tada!! Okla.. seriously I don't think it look as nice as those we buy from real Japanese restaurant but it will forever be the best tasted sushi I have ever ate as each and every pieces carries the brilliant effort that all of us put in.

The main ingredients?

Lots of love and laughter. :)

Visited my dear Jia Hui cousin recently for a small relative reunion dinner and stopped by at her house for an hour or two before heading home.

At the restaurant:

Snapshot 1: Making weird faces. :p

Snapshot 2: Cheers!! :D

Haha, yeah.. she practically dominated my handphone and go around snapping pictures of other people. :)

At her house:

Best dinner prepared by the world's best chef.

Played "masak-masak" with her and as usual, I am always the customer while she's the chef and oh boy, how much she pressured me to "eat" faster so that she could serve more dishes. Haha.. And my goodness, see the dark green coloured bag lying at the floor? It is sooo huge that I can even put her into it and carry her around. :p She even looked like a Santa Claus herself dragging the bag all the way down the staircase except, for the fact that it's green and opened the bag only to reveal that instead of toys, it's fully loaded with her "masak-masak" secret weapons like stoves, water heater, champagne, gas stove, cutting board and all the utensils with variety of mouth watering foods. Love her so much. :) Thanks for the great dinner sweetheart, you made me smile. :)

I ♥ Tzu Chi

Have been enjoying myself very much in their weekly activities but due to exam purpose, I am feeling so heavy hearted that I wouldn't be helping out with the teachings at the refugees school which will be later. To think about it, I also couldn't attend next weeks' activities as after the EE on Monday, I got a 5 days part time job as an art and craft teacher in conjunction for the School Holiday Art Programme by Global Art Centre. Oh my gawd.. That means I won't be seeing the shigu and shibo for 2 weeks straight. *Sight* Anyway, either how, I can't wait for the HIV Community Centre visit as this time, I will be teaching the children how to make simple craft out of recycled items. Save the Earth, our one and only home! :D Need to start in preparing the materials at home already weih.. :)

So so so badly want to watch movies in the cinema. :/

Mmm.. Ever since college started, I noticed that I blog less and less frequent compared with the past. So, I thought I could come out with a 'Thought of the Day' kinda thing at the end of each post from today onwards to make up for my time in blogging.

~ Thought of the Day 1~

If only we spend some time in silence and do nothing but watch, we will see a lot of things that we have never realized although they are a re-occuring event. Why? Because our ability to pay attention is very limited as we tend to be too obsessed with what we we want to achieve in life. But going silent for just 1 minute might worth more than 10 years of your life. Having breakfast at the dining table while watching how swiftly my mum work in the kitchen to cook my lunch meal at 6.30 a.m. to be brought to college made me appreciate every single spoon of it. Deep inside, I know it's a kind of 'xing fu' or happiness that not everyone can enjoy as many time as I do. From there, you'll tend to reach this point of life where you learn to appreciate people who came into your life and transform it with the amazing things they do regardless it's big or small. Simply because, YOU are worth it. :)

~Hugs~

~Whisper of The Heart~

2011-05-08T00:01:00.000+08:00

"Open your heart and the thoughts will be pure, no one will get hurt."

Life is all about love and compassion, not only to ourselves but also the society and environment. However, how many of us actually realize that when we are always grateful and selflessly serve others with love, we are not only helping other people but also ourselves? With each day that passes, we have one day less. Each day we have 86400 seconds to use and these seconds will add up into days, and days will add up into month and years. Yet, we still complain that time can never be enough for us.. Why?

As a student myself, I do know the responsibilities that I have to carry and often my thoughts do get carried away with all the minor things I come across in life. Sometime due to the urge of wanting to achieve goals, I tend to let my personal belief, principle and values slipped away without conscious. At the end of the day, I will consequently rewind back my memory of what I did on that day itself- events which means a lot to me and how did I act towards it, just right before going to sleep. Eventually but slowly, as the images revolves one by one in front of my eyes, I started to gain notice of all the almost unnoticeable mistakes I did. How come I could let myself get carried away so easily? And it is all due to placing high expectations on myself. I now know what to do. :)

Staying calm purifies the mind.

When we have selfish love, it is a love that is restricted to only certain people, we have a lot of attachments which cause us much sufferings. But Great Love- is a love that extend to all can liberate us from sufferings and give us true peace and joy.

Amithabha Buddha.

Attended the Hari Kecemerlangan in SmkBu3 today and it was such a great pleasure to be able to meet up with Marion, Hui Hwa, Esther and the ex-librarians who played a role in making my 4 years of life as a librarian truly memorable. Except for "that" part. Forget about that, I still prefer to see him as an invincible individual- to look past you as if you aren't there. Oh God, I just can't love this teacher no matter how hard I tried to. Got this 'aturcara booklet' with all the names of the prize recipients printed on top and as I flipped to the last few pages, I was shocked to see my biodata printed on top. Now I know why the school sent me a letter requesting me to fill in and hand up by Tuesday. As my eyes stroll up and down the paper sheets, I immediately saw that something is not right. My name was spelled wrongly. Lol. But it's okay, I am used to it. *Laughs* Worst come to worst, I didn't know that the teacher will be reading all those biodatas out and it was so awkward as I have to stand on the stage and listen to every single bits of details she read. Omg.. like so perasan. Haha.. At the end of the ceremony, I was presented two trophies- one was a huge and heavy glass-cup like trophy and the other one was a small but decent looking "plat" (That's what I call it). Little did I know that the almighty glowing blue trophy is actually a "piala pusingan" and I'm supposed to give it back to the school RIGHT after the ceremony. Omg, ouch.. *Laughs* :) So I guess all I could do is just to keep photos of it as a memory. Haha.. But it's okay, can be considered good enough already. It's better than having nothing right? :)

Ever since my college life started, my schedule have been fully packed with assignments and project. The worst part of all is both of these come alternately every single week. Goodness gracious, my eyes.. I don't need any more eyes bags. But somehow, it's a relief to know that tea bags help. :) Made quite a lot of new friends and somehow, it makes me feel that I am living my life all over again. Thank you God. :)

~Hugs~

~New resolutions~

2011-03-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

Cadbury and Vochelle, but I am waiting for you to come into my life naturally.. knowing that I just have to wait for that day, the day I will find you. If I just believe. <3 :)

I cried for the onions yesterday.

.....

Oh.. well.. it's..

The truth is the onions made me cry. Teehee.. :p It's so amazing to see the adults actually survived cutting onions one after another. My mom I mean. What happened was I am never used to cutting onions and if you once handled onions before, it is recommended to either chew something or breathe slowly, indirectly away from it. I thought I could just work faster and move on to the next chores but I was wrong. My eyes sting and got watery in only 10 seconds time.. The power of 10 seconds. Haha.. And so, there I was, squatting down on the floor with my round-neck T-shirt pulled above my nose, blinking my eyes away from the sting. For a moment, I thought I looked like a thief. *Laughs* :)

I've been thinking about this for quite some time, about building my character and improving the way I live now. Did some scribbling here and there but basically, these would be my initial plans for now (may change according to situation) :)

1 ) Help out in EVERY dinner preparations (I wanna upgrade from the 'ke le fe' into the one who do most of the real cookings :D)

2 ) Get involve in charity cum volunteering work at Tzu Chi's EVERY Saturday

3 ) Mop the floor EVERY Saturday/ Sunday

4 ) No more Farmvilling.. Oh wait.. I can't do this.. okay, less Farmville. (Hehe..)

5 ) Be more alert to people and my surrounding environment.

6 ) Get to bed before 12.30 a.m.

7 ) Reduce online activities and social networking.

8 ) My mom said I need to be more automatic.

9 ) Simple things can turn complicated but complicated things are simple if and only if I focus on the object itself by not thinking too much.

10) Appreciate every opportunities displayed, good things don't come often.. because it might also be the last time you will see it.

Okie dokie, there.. all 10 in total for now but the last two points sounds a little deep, don't you think so? Haha..

And so, previously it was my room and the guys' room that we painted. Our latest project was to paint my parent's room and thanks to the great group effort, we finished painting both the walls and brought the floor back it's glorious shine that it once possessed in about 4 to 5 days time. The guys gave the new coat of base paint to the walls while I did the motifs, here's how our effort blossomed like: :)

Butterflies 'flying' in from the window.

Two lover doves.

Nice? :)

Okay, so I saw this cute toddler at a garden near my housing area previously..

Aihhyoooo.. sho adorable right? :)

But honestly, until today, I still could not figure out if he is a she or she is a he or he is a he or she is a she.. :/ But I am guessing he is a young boy based on the clothes he was wearing that time. Hehe.. :) And ooohh.. he just loves to stare at people and gives you this 'I bet I can stare longer than you' look with his huge, shiny and round eyes. Too bad he is a little stingy in smile, a smile that we all tried to get by giving him the 'bunny' ears that he's wearing in the picture but yet.. he still doesn't smile.. :( Sad right? :(

~Hugs~

~Let the Pictures Do the Talking~

2011-02-14T14:04:00.000+08:00

Hehe.. :)

~Hugs~

~ Prays and smiles ~

2011-02-10T13:36:00.000+08:00

My iBOOM radio is singing "Gee" by SNSD now. *Sways following the tunes. Woots!* :)

One, two, three.. four? Yeah, this is the fourth day I'm losing all the nutrients I took from my food. Well, not all but very close to there~I think. *Sigh* I eat until so hardcore weih.. Aihyyoooo... There goes my weight. Ohh, right. I forgotten I am not supposed to use any 'pasar malam' language in my blog. What was it that I ate that cause me frequent trips to the washroom again? O.o? But I'm the only one.. and everyone were eating the same food as me. O.o?

Mmm.. Let's just forget about it. Being fussy I mean. I'll just *smile :D* and I will be back to normal again. Hehe. :)

I have been going online for almost every single day, straight, didn't feel good about that but I just do not know what else I could do. Looked through my cousin's Facebook profile just now and gawd, how I wish I could be like her. She's so smart that she succeeded to land herself on the JPA's full scholarship to study pharmacy in England. England. *Whoa..* And~ she's quite good looking too, the fact that cannot be denied. She got both beauty and brains. Jealous mann.. haha.. not exactly, it's more to looking at myself asking why didn't I study even harder to get better qualities of A's instead of the usual A I got? Should have worked harder to upgrade my A's to A+. :/ Mm.. back to the fact that I can't do anything now but to pray that I get like.. at least 9A's for SPM.

To those who are reading my blog now, you got a NICE smile! Yes, you! :) So, keep that glowing smile flowing in you kay? Cheeeeeessseee! :)

~Hugs~

~ For the Society ~

2011-02-07T23:10:00.001+08:00

20 Great Reasons to Volunteer :)

Help others :)
Make a difference :)
Find purpose :)
Enjoy a meaningful conversation :)
Connect with your community :)
Feel involved :)
Contribute to a cause that you care about :)
Use your skills in a productive way :)
Develop new skills :)
Meet new people :)
Explore new areas of interest :)
Meet good people :)
Impress your mum :)
Impress yourself :)
Expand your horizons :)
Get out of the house :)
Make new friends :)
Strengthen your resume :)
Feel better about yourself :)
Helping yourself :)

I have just volunteered myself for World Vision Malaysia!! :D

~Hugs~

~ Break Free ~

2011-01-31T16:24:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging properly for the past few weeks. So irresponsible. But there's nothing much going on, nothing interesting, no stress, no specially happy nor sad moments, no heartbreaks, no feeling love or being loved, feeling heavy yet light.. My mind and heart is blank. Literally but totally. :/ I am like a walking warm zombie.

Symphony of a small piece of ex-memory:
Protective

I've put too much hope
I've been fooled
I've been hurt
I've been cracked into pieces
Yet still in a piece (Whatt??)
I said cracked, not broke (Ohhh)
And now my door is locked
With a chain
I'm so tired
But this is life
I don't wanna care anymore
No, no, no
I don't wanna care anymore
I was wrong
I moved on
I really did it this time
I won't go back to December anymore
I don't wanna care anymore

No, no, no

I don't wanna care anymore

It's going to take me a long time

Before I fall in love again

I see no evil

I hear no evil

I speak no evil

What?

Doesn't seems to relate

But it does

If you look deep enough into it

No hatred

No bad feelings

Just good remembrance

Of the day I grew stronger

I don't wanna care anymore

No, no, no

I don't wanna care anymore

Hey Cupid Dupid

Stay where you are

Yes, you

The one with cute wings

Don't you dare to come flying above my head

With that bow and arrow of yours

Cuz Iah'

Gonna shoot you down faster than you think you could

This is no war

This is no shooting spree

This is just a deal between you and me

Let's respect each other

Just don't bother

Leave me and don't come back

Until I find another

Then we can both have fun

Together

I don't wanna care anymore

No, no, no

I don't wanna care anymore

Let's be friends and have fun

Cuz' I don't wanna care anymore

See-An-Why is just three more days away, I can't wait to go except the fact that I might end up eating a lot and still doesn't get fat. Yee Sang, I wonder how high we can all toss this year. :p The weather had been so cold since yesterday night as the sky kept losing his zoo of cats and dogs. Johor flooded heavily again. It's like a routine since the location is lower to the ground compared to the rest of the states. Plus, it's having a 'cup-shape' like landscape, thus increasing the chance of collecting rain water.

~Hugs~

~Boredom~

2011-01-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

It's already like one month plus++ since I left school and for the first time in my whole entire life.. I feel really lifeless. I think my brain is shrinking (literally) or working relatively slower because I've not been doing much proper 'intellectual exercises' like writing, doing homework, memorizing for exam and.. sports! Owh.. how much I miss basketball and the awesome feeling of feeling light and 'bouncy' after stretching. *Sigh* I miss studying. :/

I have always wanted to volunteer myself for charity work so so soooo much and since I finally got the time for it now, why not? :) But first, I need to google and seek for the nearest place.

As for part-time job, I'm searching for those which only lasts for 3 days for certain reasons, and found the event types which would be just the thing I want.

Okay, lets' end this post with a huge SMILE. :D

~Hugs~

~ Mssg u~

2011-01-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

I go back to December all the time. It never changes, still the same, I could only find for another white bear with the same characteristics. This is the one I wanted, but it's not meant to be mine.

Cuz I'm not the right fruit.

~Hugs~

~Undang Delight~

2011-01-18T13:46:00.000+08:00

I thought I would be sitting for the Undang test alone yesterday but the moment I stepped into the William Lee's Driving Agency, I saw a familiar face. Ching Ling, my 'brother'! Woots~ Funny to think that it was all three of us (Britny, Jimmy and I) when we went for the 5 hours KPP Course but in the end all of us sat for the Undang test separately, one week after another. Britny was solo. Jimmy was solo. I was expecting to be solo too but it didn't turn out like that. :D Aaaaahhh, so lucky. :D

42 out of 50 to pass.
I got 47. :( Yer, I was hoping to get full 50 but it's okay. What matters most is I still PASS! Triple smile here: (: (: (:

~Hugs~

~Mushroom~

2011-01-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

Something is not right.. Something important is missing from my life now.. And to think about it, I have not been exercising for one single bit since the day SPM got marked down and one month before it even started. That would be two months in total. Yes, TWO months. My goodness.. I do not want to be end up harvesting mushrooms. But with the three guys 'missing' (WT in college, CS and WK in school), probably mummy would not allow me to leave the house alone either. I am so bored at home and my daily routine evolves ONLY around reading newspapers, Undang, cooking, going online, watching TV, sms, eat, sleep..

So lifeless..

I want to get back to school! Right, better not think about it until I fully decide on whether to take up architecture, advertising or psychology.
Architecture?
Not many girls go for it because scientifically proven, we are weaker on the technical sides and the word "collapse" shook me a little. Heheh.. :P
Advertising?
Highly competitive, endless stresses, challenging, get to meet variety people etc.. But most of the successful human out there strongly discouraged me to go for arts. They seemed to get all so 'gek' and object directly the moment I speak about art.
Psychology?
Very flexible, branches out to PR, HR, Marketing, Psychology.. etc.
I once thought about law but that would mean I need to burry my whole life with books. I want to do something that requires both creativity and management skills and at the same time, not make me look like an apple locked in a cage.

Back to exercising, I shall start with sit-ups. I doubt I can do much but it's worth a try. WT said 100 times would be the ideal range, with only 5 minutes rest at each break. Gambatte YUN!

~Hugs~

~ Keep It Playin' In My Head ~

2011-01-08T12:33:00.000+08:00

" If you ever loved somebody put your hands up, and now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything. "

Have you ever been in love but let it slip through your fingers, only to realize your mistakes when it is too late?
Have you ever looked into the mirror and ask yourself why did you let it happen?
Have you ever find a way to replace your mistakes?
Have you ever tried to get that something that once means a lot you back?
Have you ever put your heart in it?
...
Have you?

As their body hits the cold water and splashes are last felt by their feet, deep down to the bottom as they go to explore the big blue ocean they used to love. As bubbles reaches for the surface, the path ahead them slowly appears.. quite dim but just bright enough shone by the sunlight that fights the waves to reach them. Colourful corals, waves hello as a school of fishes swam pass them and disappears into the darker shades of water ahead. A magic is bound to take place. The boy swims slightly to the side to give way to his whale as he reads the word " Malaysia " printed repeatedly in darker shades of grey across it's big smooth belly surface. As the last trace of tail disappears to the surface, the boy emerged and swiftly garb hold of his whale, now a grey horse which obediently allows him to climb over it's back. For a moment, they seemed to own the world. The rising sun had punctured the dawn sky with streaks of red. It was beautiful. As they leaped from one end to another, they came across a rider and his horse who ere struggling to climb up a cliff. Upon seeing how easily the boy and his horse are able to do it, feeling challenged, he took his bow and arrow and shot the horse just right below the neck. Shocked, furious and upset, the boy shouted at the rider for his inhuman act. His horse did no wrong. He dived for his horse into the water and reached for it, now lying motionless on the sea bed. Hugging and not wanting to let go of the stiff body of his horse which is starting to feel cold. In a few minutes time, there wouldn't be any warmth left.

Something shiny caught his watery eyes.

He reached for the silver metal object attached to the horse's body. Cubic, looks like a small TV, or a video -TV-like cam to be exact. As he pushes the 'ON' button, it plays the journey that both of them had gone through together. Something that no words can describe. A bright orange-neon colour with bright red and green stripes on the clown fish-like fish blocks his view. It took his attention away from the 'TV' as it swims upwards. The mesmerized boy cannot help but to lean forward and tries to give it a touch. First, second, third, fourth attempts but never once he succeed.His fingers kept sliding through every parts of the fish. The dorsal fin, fin rays, tail.. The sense of curiosity eventually fish him standing and wander the rest of the aquatic creatures on the foreign land. Branching corals, seahorses, turtles, dolphins, seaweeds, sea anemones, seashells, clams.. you name it, he can even slide his whole arm through them all and wear them stiffly like a ring or a hula-hoop. Pretty soon, he finds himself staring at a super long single storey castle. Out came a sea gnome and the sea king. Knowing what the boy wanted to ask, the gnome explains that everything that he had just seen are created by the sea king himself, now looking quite old and pretty exhausted. He needs a rest, he had done enough for today and will continue tomorrow. All these* are created for the souls of those who had once lived and died underwater. For Larren, the name of the boy's horse. As they all stared into space, a faint shape of a horse is seen.

After finished typing the above down, somehow I think it looked more like a story to a dream. But the fact is, that was what I dreamt about in my sleep this morning. :) Oooh, I even came up with a conclusion from this dream I had: Jealousy can kill. Human wonders.

~Hugs~

~ 4th Jan 2010 ~

2011-01-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

The day the plants and trees commited suicide.

On the way back home from the hospital yesterday, my mum and I were astonished upon seeing numerous trees lying across the road with their roots clearly seen still freshly tugged from the ground. As we slowly drive around the housing area, we saw nothing else other than the trees that miserably lied across the road, that they used to grow lining side by side as the road go. Big trees got pulled to the side by the trucks. Upon reaching home, we were surprised to find our dear mango tree broke one of it's hand. The following will show you what are the wonders that people will do when facing with such situations:

1) My cousin came running saying her roof extension got blown upwards (Wow.. *Laughs*) and her dad's plants came bungee jumping down one by one from the concrete fence. And so.. The very next day, we saw him screwing each and every plant pots he have to the metal bar with nails.. Especially his bonsais.

2) Another friend who was brimming with confident and laughing at those who's trees fell kissing Earth because she did not plant any trees in the garden of her house. Little did she know, she ended up as the one laughing the loudest at herself for that when she reached home, she saw one tree laying in front of her eyes. In the garden of her house. Nobody know how it got there. It was a gift from the wind. *Laughs*

From what I heard, the strong wind came by sudden after a sudden heavy rainfall. It happened so fast that all the dry clothes hanging under the big blue sky looked like it just came out from the pool. Magics in the wind, they blew so strongly that they made the plants grow legs, which didn't last long enough for them to conquer the world. Sad case. So many plants died.. :(

Visited Chai Teng today and she looked so much better after yesterday's surgery. Such a quick recovery, she was already sitting up leaning on the bed when we arrived this afternoon. But her back still hurts her a lot, so it was shown on her face. She can hardly talk but loud enough for us to listen. The doctor came in after that, asking her to try to stand up and walk. My goodness, but she just had her spinal chord surgery yesterday. Ouch.. So I asked the doctor about it and he said, most of his patients undergo the same procedure the day after the surgery and got discharged from the ward on the third day. So, we watched how he helped her to stand up and it looked so painful that I think I forgotten to breathe or something.. When the doctor kept asking her does she feel any dizzyness, I ended up to be the one having my vision got blurred and blurrer. I was about to faint. There goes me, leaning against the chair with my aunt applying ointments on my head. *Laughs* So, basically they (the doctor, nurses.. Etc) were all joking about it. I am not the patient, but I am the one getting dizzy watching. LOL. All because I forgot to breathe. Haha.. To think about it, although being the one watching, I can feel her pain. With all the pipes and needles poking into her and the bloods.. Uhhhh.. I wonder how will I end up like if I am a doctor. *Laughs* Anyhow, I wish that she will get well soon, and may her operation scars pain reduce. From a bend spinal to a straight one, she would be about the same height as me now. :)

~ Hugs ~

~College Dilemma~

2011-01-03T00:54:00.000+08:00

I am supposed to sit for my Undang exam tomorrow but based on the condition I am in now, it pretty looks like I gotta delay the exam. My cousin who will need to undergo a spinal chord surgery soon might need some help in getting to know all the preparations she needs to know or do. Yeah, so basically, it will definately be like a 'One-day-translator-cum-info-asker' experience for me. Mummy told me by the time I am done with it, it would already be night time when I come back home. So, I guess I will be learning a bit of the society skills here and there.. *Sigh* May the surgery go smoothly, to think about it, we are in the same age, Ting dear. She had this problem since she was very young but think about all the hard time she had to go through all these years just to wait for the time she could finally finish her final school exam (SPM) and settle down for the surgery. *Prays*

Trying to save for college education. As I will be going for the A-Levels, it will be great if we could use the money for the degree instead, since they are similar, maybe slightly different if compared to other colleges. Went to TARC today just to find out that the office was closed and the distance to get to that college was really far, which means.. IF I were to go there, I need to wake up at 5.30 a.m., sit LRT from Kelana Jaya all the way to Wangsa Maju which takes about 1 and a half hour every morning. And then, take a bus to the college. It's not that bad.. I hope..Think of the bright side, I can learn to be more independent and use the money instead for my degree which will be done in a better college. Although it means arming with pepper spray at all time. The fees as really cheap tho, haven't even reach 10K yet but probably with the SPM results, I guess I only need to pay about 2K or free. But in the end, mummy seems to be thinking of putting me into INTI because it's the second closest college to my house, after KDU. KDU was the first choice and I was about to enroll into that college when I received a phone call saying that they will not include my SPM Art result for the scholarship because it's not a core subject. Sounds pretty ridiculous to me because other colleges accept any subjects for the scholarship if you get an A for it. I am taking 10 in total and in order to get full scholarship, I can only afford to lose ONE precious A which will be Add Math. I mean, that's the main reason why I take up art subject for SPM because I know my capability.. I am not a straight-A student.. *Sigh*

Mummy is not feeling well, she's down with fever and flu. Every time this happens, I feel so bad, really bad and upset. I blamed myself silently for she over-worked herself with the house chores, fetching us to school and stuff like that.. I couldn't even do much to help her because she wants me to use my time to study and finish up all the school work instead. Perhaps I am being to sensitive, but the hearing the word 'useless' or 'stupid' can really trigger my emotion because it will make me feel that I am not doing enough for my mum as a daughter. I am trying, please do not say anything that keeps pushing me backwards and break my spirit especially when I am doing this all for my family and I.. Not everyone is as lucky as you. Thank you.. You will succeed in life. I want to be successful too.

I will never give up. I won't give up. This is my promise to you, mum.

I need to buy more fruits! The fridge seems to be running in low supply of it. Shyyyttttt... I'll check if they got sell fruits nearby the hospital tomorrow, need to get Kiwis since it's high in Vitamin C. Can cut them for mummy as soon as I reach home. Mummy is not feeling well and she does not even want to go to see the doctor. So hard-headed. *Sigh*

Okay, it will be 1 a.m. in about 10 minutes time. Need to go sleep now, I am the only one alone downstairs, and need to wake up at 6.30 a.m. tomorrow to go to the hospital.. Mmm.. So quiet.. Kays, goodnight. :)

~Hugs~

~ New Year Tale ~

2011-01-01T01:00:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time..

The evil witch named Rappidzel..

Laid an evil evil curse when she..

The evil evil evil one..

Found out that..

Her role as the main character in Red Riding Hood was taken over by a little girl..

Who was in fact a hobbit in disguise..

After eating her magical red bittergourd..

Planted by the her slaves..

The seven tall gnomes..

So, each year..

The Kingdom has no choice but to have an annual tradition..

To replace their king one by one..

So finally..

The time when King 2010 steps down from his throne..

Prince 2011 was only 1 second years old..

And got elected as the new king..

Everyone was happy..

Because he..

Got a crown..

Made out of..

A bottle of milk..

..

And a pacifier.

That's how the phrase :

Comments by ZingerBug.com

Comes about..

And they all live happily ever after.

:) Drank a bottle full with boredom. And a pinch of lameness.

~Hugs~

~Shadow~

2010-12-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

I am stuck.. or lost.. in iTunes. :( They made it sound so easy but I still do not know how to manage my iTouch with it a single bit. *Sigh*

I can't see you but I know you are eyeing. Every steps that I take.. You actually care, don't you?

~Hugs~

~Just A Dream~

2010-12-25T15:09:00.000+08:00

I have a huge feeling that this is going to be a long post. :)

Participated in the Erra Art Sketching Competition at 1U on the 19th of Dec (The day before my last SPM exam: Economics). We are all given an art block each and were supposed to walk around the beautifully decorate main concourse area to get some inspirations from the Christmas decorations. Finding the perfect view wasn't tough but it was the sketching that really broke your spirit because everyone were doing so well. Worse, I got this young artist (based on the clothes he wore) who sat beside me and drew like.. magic. Surprisingly, I emerged as the champion which won me RM 1500.00. In two hours. Not a bad deal in exchange for a few hours of your time yea? Guess it was my lucky day. Not lucky, but very lucky. Thanks Buddha! :) And I was so happy because I thought I could give it all to my mum but end up, she used part of it for my driving license which falls on the 23rd. Yea.. :( So, I rushed back home at about 4 pm, crammed the Form 5 economics into my head as fast as I could ( Form 5 text book only consists of 3 Chapters~ 3 LONG chapters) but I couldn't finish. Woke up at 6.30 am on the morning of the exam to finish up the remaining one chapter before rushing to school and was slightly late. :) But it's okay, it was all so worth it. :)

Rewinding time back to the first day of SPM. What got the lady examiner smiling when I was asked to take out only the stationaries that are needed for exam was these:

All blue. :)

It kept appearing, disappearing and appears again when I least expect it. At first it was the car's plat number and now it is this:

The serial number on my prom ticket. But.. What is these all supposed to mean? Curious.. but I guess I will never know. Will just wait and see what will be coming next. *Sigh*

It is only just a dream. Time to wake up.

Registered at the same driving agency as Britny and together, we went for the 5 hours long KPP Course. Surprisingly, Wei Jim is under the same driving agency as us both. Therefore, all three of us shared the same classroom and will be attending the rest of the next coming courses together as planned.
And then.. we saw Wee Liam! All the best to him this time. :)
And then.. I saw two friends from SKTM.. DJ students.. both guys.. both scouts.. Junx and Chin Tak. I recognized them the very moment I saw them while they were quite.. urm.. slow? Haha.. At the end of the day, I still doubt that they know I was there. :D

Oooh, my brother is putting the 'blame' on me for passing down the 6 A's gene for PMR to him. Lol, then what about me when Cai Li jie jie did not pass her straight A's gene to me? Haha.. The Cycle of Life. :)

For the past few hectic days, most of my time had been fully decorated with schedules and things I need to do by the end of this month. Was offered only 8K scholarship from KDU College, in WHICH I lacked of only one more A to obtain a full scholarship for A-Levels, in WHICH was caused by the lack of only 2 more marks for Moral to get an A. So sad weih.. I can't do anything much now but to hope for the very best that I will get at least 9A's for SPM so that I could replace the 8K scholarship to a full one. Basically, there is about 70% that I might be going for law IF I enter college but still deciding on whether if I should go for Form 6 or not. I don't want my parents to spend so much of their money on my studies but my mum seemed to be so sure of putting me in A-Levels. If only I could fast forward time and see my SPM results..
*Sigh*

My grandma came down from Perak to pay us a visit and I can't help but to feel so happy that she is still in a pink of health. Don't know why, but I find the elderlies can be really cute sometimes, a little blur yet sweet here and there. It is like you automatically response with every single moves they take and treat them in a surprisingly, super gentle and polite manners. But whatever it is, I always stick to my principle: Not to over-take-care the elderlies because it will make them feel as if they are weak and unable to do a lot of things themselves. Let's try to think from their side. How would you feel if people kept helping you even in the simplest thing you used to be able to do? Exactly. So, somehow the best thing we can do is to continuously show support and concern to them but at the same time, never over do it. :)

Watched Rapunzel for the second time with Suet Tyng before she furthers her studies to UK.

It's so good that you will enjoy watching this movie again and again and again. :) Besides all the beautiful things I have seen and love in life like the stars, clouds, and moon, floating lights definately got the thing that made me go "Awww... there goes my heart" <3 Before I forget.. Merry Christmas to all. :)

Our dear DIY tree won us the third placing in the recent tree decorating contest. :)

My complete set of prom photos:

~Hugs~

~Tissue Girl~

2010-12-17T00:48:00.000+08:00

My nose have been so hardworking like a running tap since 1 a.m. this morning alright. Way to go. I would like to take this opportunity to thank the tissues for being so loyal. We had just caused the Mr. Dustbin right over there to look like Red Riding Hood's basket filled with snow balls. Oh, wow. Thank God, my bag is filled with an unlimited supplies of tissues to last me until the SPBT work ends, like 3 hours? Oooh, Ching Ching even gave me a glamour name to go with it. 'The Tissue Girl'. Haha. :) What do you think of that? Awesome right?

........

And so, upon reaching home, I slept from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. Woke up for lunch. Then went to sleep again from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. Woke up again for dinner. Then, I shall sleep again before 1 a.m. Goodness gracious, I sure sound like a pig. Oink* Somebody closed the running tap for me and now I feel like I just attended a night fever party. One after another but yeah, it is supposed to be this way. Before you get fever, you get flu. After you get flu, you get fever. Tongue twister, stage one. Are you up to the challenge?

If a thief cannot get away with his crime, so does anyone out there. Gotcha'! Got just got caught on the camera so smile and show your beautiful sets of teeth you have there.

9 out of 10 are ego monsters. I do not see what is the fun of being ego.

Top 5 most annoying word or phrase in the English language:
1) Whatever
2) Like
3) You know what I mean
4) To tell you the truth
5) Actually
This clearly explains why you can get taken back when people say "whatever" sometimes. Agreed, I find it really rude. It's scientifically and mentally proven anyway. Mmhmm.. Are you thinking what I am thinking? :)

~Hugs~

2010-12-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

What is the first thing that struck your mind if one day you did something that you would never find yourself doing even in a million years? Something that breaks your "What's yes and what's no" principle in life? Wacky. :)

Mmm.. Let's just put all these into what I have gone through during today's outing with the darlings. All these while, I always find the act of entering the clothes shops, putting on clothing that looks appealing and snapping pictures of yourself in it is really "lala". There are absolutely nothing wrong with trying out the clothes in different shops but snapping yourself in it when you did not even buy it is a major problem. As I haven't really get my prom dress yet (I am running out of time), I was brought to many shops and the girls helped me in picking them out. But different people got different taste so I chose only the white ones (which was tough because I NEVER fall for things easily) while the girls took clothes they would like to try on. Then.. things got funny when they introduced me into the "culture" in which made me go *screaming oh my gawd, oh my gawd inside and kept thinking that this is so unbelievable, I am actually doing all these* but after awhile, it was okay. Slowly I started to get a hang of it and then we messed with the funky glasses. Lol. I do not know whether this is weird or not but it is actually the very first time I am doing all these. Learning new stuff, I suppose? Haha.. I wouldn't say it is a bad thing because it helped me not to become so conservative and learn to adapt to new situations. But getting such experience once is more than enough. Too expensive to be accepted, if you get what I mean. Haha.. I wouldn't want to do the things that I do not want to do or see myself do or shouldn't do.

These are the movies that we watched:
1) 1 Utama New Wing Cinema, GSC.
RAPUNZEL

Absolutely love it, this is so good to be true that I am FINALLY watching this after yearning for weeks. The story line is really interesting and I actually cried in the end. Lol. Why do all Disney's movies have to be this touching like "Up"? :)

2) 1 Utama Old Wing Cinema, TSC.
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS

Love this too, hate the part when Ron was being really childish when he left Hermione and Harry alone in the forest just at the time when they really need to stay together and fight Voldemort. He didn't even cared for Hermione's feelings when he left her just like that. Ego monster. Didn't he actually realize how much she loved him, got so scared and worried when he was injured, took great care of him until he's getting better and stuff like that? She is like the perfect girlfriend (beautiful inside out and smart in the head). But it's okay since he came back in the end just in time to save Harry who got trapped under the icy water and it was funny when he tried to get Hermione's forgiveness. :)

~Hugs~

~The "And So's"~

2010-12-14T00:09:00.000+08:00

And so..

Art exam was smooth today, I got just the time I needed to finish my art although my hands were shaking at the start like an old granny. Guess I pushed myself too hard just to make sure I get an A1 for it. I don't wanna get an unexpected surprise from a subject that I have confident in. Well, more to being afraid I will get over-confident in it and then unable to take the pressure IF anything went out of expectations. Aim high but expects something lower and NOT aim high and expects high is something that I really need to learn to avoid disappointments. But whatever the outcome will be, I tried my best in SPM and now, it's up to how far my luck can go. Lol. Run! :)

And so..

I was the last candidate sitting in the examination class and the examiners were talking about accepting unknown friends in Facebook. Oh wait.. I missed out one part. During the exam or should I say at the first 30 minutes, some students actually submitted their piece of artwork with splashes of paints here and there and YET tried to act cool by walking out like 'models on the red carpet'. Lol. I mean, heyyy.. this is EXAM! And I think they made a plan about leaving in a half an hour time and gathered at the assembly area with their bunch of friends. And guess what? I didn't know our school actually provides a place for 'Mat Rempit' activities~ Wow? This gang got their motorcycle all ready at the assembly area downstairs and go vroom vrooomm vrooooommmm~~ Without the 'crash'. I can't help it but to look up and put on an annoyed face and the examiners were all shaking their heads. So, there goes our school's image.

And so..

My mum was talking about Form 6 again. I can see that she really hopes that I could go for Form 6 and attend the local University if I do well.. I do not mind going for Form 6 actually but what worries me is what IF I didn't do well in STPM? I heard that it is not easy at all and the very last thing I want to do in my whole life is to make my mum disappointed. It's like.. I will do anything for her, if she has the expectations on me, then it is my responsibility as her daughter to make it come true. I guess perhaps it's the reason that she is not able to get the educations she wanted last time as my grandmother was really poor. I am aware it is not easy to raise us up as our financial condition aren't good and I want to make a change by not giving up. Educations is like my life.. the only path to excel in life. I really want a straight for SPM because it would help me to get a scholarship and reduce the burden. I still got a younger brother. But with Add Math.. I don't know. Lol.. my eyes are getting watery. Haha..

~Hugs~

~Short and simple~

2010-12-12T14:31:00.000+08:00

1) I am feeling so frustrated, nervous yet sleepy for the SPM art exam tomorrow. Picked to paint the fighting fish for tomorrow and I got to pay extra attention to the details and colours which is very time consuming. Had a hard time trying to search for the perfect colours combinations and poses yesterday because I want my fish to look lively, as in able to enhance the moving effect. Was so frustrated yesterday when I could not come out with colours that really stands out (I want something different yet beautiful) and then feel so bad that I wasted so many papers (trees got cut down). But thank God, everything went into order this morning and hopefully things will come out just the way I wanted tomorrow. Aiming for A1. *Sigh*

2) Will be hanging out with Mun and Wei Hua at 1U next Wednesday. And sooo... we will be watching Rapunzel! And Harry Potter! And The Social Network IF possible. :) We got like.. the whole day to catch up with the must watch movies so probably will be back home at about 8 to 9 pm? :)

3) Will be going to school on the next day to help out with the returning of the SPBT books meaning I got to wake up early.. :I

4) Soon, I will be spending my time to paint the house walls. But that will be after SPM. This time, the limit will not stop just at the bedroom or the bathroom but the whole house. :) Splash em' with paints! :) And one thing for sure, no drawings will be done on the walls.

~Hugs~

~ Like A Toy ~

2010-12-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

"Once broken considered sold".
True, but I do not agree. Let's make it this way, assume that one day you are given a choice to be transformed either into a whole new expensive toy sold in those big shopping centres OR a secondhand toy which colours are already faded here and there in a junkyard sale? I choose the second option.

I am not saying all but out of 10 kids, you will find only 2 to 3 young children who will truly appreciate their things. I am referring this to wealthy kids who got parents whom can get them anything they want and in this case, toys. Let's start with the first scene: You choose to be transformed into an expensive and classy toy. Mmhmm.. Good decision made, I mean who in the world who do not want to born into something beautiful and have a well arranged life? All you have to do is just to sit down quietly, looking pretty on the shelves while waiting for someone who walk past and go "Ooohhh" and got the cash to buy you home. The thoughts of living in your new home is more than enough to make you fly. Back to the fact, most rich kids, mind you, not all only lay their eyes on these expensive toys. As they are rich, they get to swap anything they want and soon can even compete or boast to their friends about how gigantic their collection of toys are like. 'Fresh' toys are considered the best and their supplies of toys kept multiplying every short duration of time. Because of this reason, most(not all) of the wealthy kids tend not to appreciate all the toys they have and spoiling them with no absolute feeling of guilt as they wouldn't CARE much less about it. I mean, what is the big deal? They can just BUY a new one every time they damaged their toys or get bored with it. So while these lucky humans are feeling happy with the uncountable blessings, what happen to their toys? Badly broken toys, with bits of cotton sticking out here and there, some lost their hands, or end up with a missing tyre thanks to the princess' or princes' beautiful tantrum can only wait to be thrown away. The rich(not all) hardly recycle, they just throw and throw and THROW away things that are already old but still functioning. After all, they can afford to buy a new one. NEW things just keep rolling and rolling. In the end, most of these expensive and classy toys end up in the trash bin with missing compartments. But there is also a possibility that the newly bought expensive toys will end up in good hands, just a slight possibility.

Now, looking from the second scene if you choose to be transformed into an old but still functioning toys sold in junkyards. In such case, you are considered as a secondhand item and are sold at a very cheap price by your previous owner. Unlike the first one, you are placed in a huge basket filled with many other old, smelly and dirty toys but thank God, they are still in one good piece. If you are unlucky, you will get squashed and unable to get any fresh air nor a glimpse of light until someone digs deep enough to bring you out. Nobody like worn out toys. You might have to WAIT long enough to be safely cuddled in the right hands. If you think deep enough, people who actually took their time to look through these bunch of toys and despite the lovely aroma and not so good condition appearance are hard to find. They still buy you regardless how dirty you are or whatsoever. Not to say the amount of time they spend to wash you clean, close up your wounds and stuff like that. At the end of the day, you can't help feeling so LUCKY to be CARED, APPRECIATED and LOVED. The life worth to be waiting for. Hard times are over, the amount of tears you have generously cried when your previous owner mis-treated you and yet being so loyal hoping that one day they finally realized you, not just as a toy but as a friend who will stay with them through hard times. You do not mind being wet all over soaked with their tears, the numerous times to got thrown at the floor when they are in a bad mood because at the end of the day, you know you will get picked up and got hugged to sleep. As a toy, you know your fate, you get played with and when the fun is all gone, you have to prepare for the worst. The day when they got bored of you. Yes, BORED of you. And the cycle goes on and on until that one day arrives. The day you have been yearning for so long, somebody who really appreciates you and is NOT AFRAID to let you know your existance really mean something in his or her life. Even if you are just a toy. The owner that PROTECTS you when his of her mum wants to give you away to the neighbour, the owner that makes sure you will not get HURT by playing with you gently, the owner who checks you are ALRIGHT by making sure his or her sister did not sneak you away silently, the owner that TRUSTS you are not the cause for the ink spillage on the carpet and lastly, the owner who NEVER GAVE up on you even if you are physically not so attractive any longer.

There are also some cases where owners come back searching for you after you got sent away. What I am trying to emphasize is.. why didn't they appreciate you when you are still around? Yes, thy might be upset when you are gone but didn't they thought of how upset you are when they treated you like a fly and eventually chased you away? Simply because you are just a TOY, you can only folow the flow like waves on water.

Toys are like humans. But humans are not toys.

Appreciate people who step into your life and means something to you because you will never know how long will it take to come across someone similiar like the one you had lost. Fear not to turn back because those who really cared for you have always been UNCONDITIONALLY FORGAVE you with every mistakes you had done. Like a mother who forgives her child's mistakes since yw very first day they stepped into this world.

~Hugs~

~Another boring post~

2010-12-05T19:19:00.000+08:00

I can't think of what to write in my blog because there are nothing that really bothered my mind this month but I think it look pretty sad with no updates so yeah.. :)

Thursday
Seven down and three more to go. After Science, I couldn't help but to feel more than glad to be able to get a goooooood long afternoon nap that I have been yearning for so badly. Heh. Accounts will be in about in 4 more days time so it is time for me to sharpen up my sword for the next war.

Friday
Woke up at 7 a.m. on this beautiful Friday morning, it was tough. I slept like a log, I guess. Gather at Cosmo World, Berjaya Times Square with WTeng and his brother, my brother and my mum, Louis and his lovely family at 11 a.m. Later did we know, we actually spent almost 7 hours running, jumping, climbing up and down the stairs like little monkeys exploring an island, lining up at the game stations over and over again. We all had a wacky good time giving numerous tries at almost all of the games they had there on both floor, from those kiddy rides like the merry-go-round, cute 'too-too- trains' and 'baby bus' to trillers like the 'spinner', bumper car and so on. It was actually a plan by mummy and Aunty Lily to let me shake all those stresses off me and see me have fun like a little kid, I do not practically cared how messy my hair was, I just want to get high and play like nobody's else business with the rest of the guys. We wallop' every single games they have there together but when it comes to sitting roller coaster, all of them stepped back and prefer to stick their feet on Earth. Surprisingly later on, my brother actually volunteered to go for the ride with me because he knew how much I love roller coasters and stuff like that since I was young even though it means overcoming his fear for roller coasters. This "Jie, if you really want to go for it, I think I can accompany you" word actually came out from my brother who knew that he is the "too scared to scream" type of person because his voice will just go missing in action whenever he go for triller rides. Sad case. It's just his personality, a guy with a soft heart. And the great thing is, he survived the ride. Thank you Chye Soon. :)

This outing somehow turned into something that will stay in my mind forever, a memory that stays with me for my whole entire life because it pulled the family relation between my brother and I closer. I remembered how funny it was when we had to struggle to sit properly on our seats when we were spinning on the 'spinner' and he was complaining that I pushed too hard against him, almost flattening him into a piece of paper because the air force was so strong. Not forgetting the part when we both were always together throughout the whole outing waited for each other every time one of us slowed down and stuff. No one can be a better brother than you. To think bout it, where else in the world will I be able to find a brother who will stay up with me or even to the extend of sleeping in the living room until the wee morning just to accompany me during the exam week? A brother who will not hesitate to eat the skin part of my plate of fish because he knew I will always leave my plate all clean~~ with fish skin. A brother who will keep quiet and not argue back when I give him lectures. A brother who will stay with me when I am afraid. A brother who will wait for me to go upstairs together at night. And the best thing of all? A brother who will never fail to spoil me with respect, care and will only say words which heals and speaks at the right time. All of this and take note : He is younger than me. :) What I can say is I do know how much my brother has been doing for me all these while that's why I love him. :) He might not realize it but I actually feel blessed to be given a brother like him. We reached home at 10 p.m.

Saturday
My neck is killing me after a hectic day yesterday probably due to 'over-twisting' my head at all those crazy rides. Was planning to stay at home but decided to tag along when my mum asked me if I would mind to out of not. I could help to give some opinions and fasten up WTeng's dilemma in purchasing the formal clothes for his so-called 'student exchange program-like' Taiwan trip. Lucky him. I am so happy that he got selected tho. Hopefully, it will be my turn next year. Heheh. :) Stopped by at Giant and Carrefour next to buy some groceries and by the time we got rid of the 'Things to Buy' list, we need to head directly to Pizza Hut to celebrate the two smart people: WTeng's and Racheal's birthday. This time, we reached home at 9 p.m. feeling so bloated up with lots of pizzas and cakes. Hopefully this time, I managed to gain some weight. :)

Sunday
I got 3 hours of account tuition tomorrow from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. , a great way to help me to re-wind all those things that I have learnt this year. I am not ashamed to admit how bad I was in accounts (Failed for F4 final year examination) before I started to attend this tuition by teacher Valery. Going for tuition under her guidance and did loads of never ending exercises for about 8 months actually helped to pull me up from an 'E' to an 'A1' or sometimes 'A2'. It's just the feeling like you're lost in the forest, all alone, cold and there is nobody out there to help you and out of sudden there is a light shining from above with glitters falling down like snowflakes and gently, you're lifted off the ground entering a massive spaceship above you. Something like this with the exception that you're saved by a nice human and not an alien. :) With this, I planned to make a huge card for her with a long letter showing my gratitudes towards her, someone who made this year more meaningful to me by 'saving me from the forest'. Lol.

~Hugs~

~Our Promise~

2010-11-28T13:21:00.000+08:00

We walked from e@Curve to Curve to Ikano just to search for Mr Smart's ideal gifts (something that clearly represents Malaysia) but we found nothing near Malaysian-ish. Mummy and Aunty Lily wanted to go for a walk in Ikea so we tagged along and then I saw this:

An Elephant plushie! :) Don't know why, I just somehow got this "there's something special about you" feeling when I saw it but obviously mummy will shrug her head a 'No' so I took a picture of it instead when they walked far ahead in the front. Heh. :) My dear, please wait for me alright? Stay here and please reserve one for me, you or your friends. I do not know how long will it take for me to get you, perhaps about in a few years time because mummy won't let me buy you. You stay here alright? I will bring you home one day. :)

~Hugs~

~Lucky him~

2010-11-27T18:14:00.000+08:00

My Mr. Smart cousin will be going for a student trip program to Taiwan soon. On the 7th, so I have heard. Meaning he will be leaving Malaysia after my SPM Additional Mathematics examination (Eheheheh~heh). According to the itinerary, he is supposed to bring three to four additional gifts along as he will be staying with two different Taiwanese family for a night or two each to experience how their lifestyles would be like. Basically, the program lasts for three weeks. Saw the program in displayed for the participants (only open to all newly Form 5 graduates) and obviously you will know that those who are selected will have a lot of fun there. They will need to introduce Malaysia's multiracial cultures, get involve in camping activities like campfire (so cool) and travel around Taiwan like tourist. My gawd.. So mummy allowed me to submit an application form for it next year. :) So yeah, for those who read this post and are interested to participate in this program, do let me know because from what I have heard, it is best if you tag a few friends along with you for the trip. I don't want to go alone. :)

~Hugs~

~Beliefs~

2010-11-20T14:46:00.000+08:00

Wanted to try out a new sitting position to see if I could find a more comfortable sitting place to finish up memorizing the boring subjects so I tried sitting at my brother's for about an hour or two. It turned out to be feeling really 'pressured', unable to stay concentrate and even got the lazy bug tuned in so I looked up and there I saw it. I immediately knew the reason why. Daddy once said that it is never a good idea to sit and study under the 'extra protruded wall' from the ceiling because somehow, it gives you a feeling as if something is pressing on you like you're carrying a heavy burden. Lol.. Quite true. So I guess the best place would still be sitting at my own study table. Teehee.. *Smile*

May all the 10 subjects that I will be sitting for SPM soon be as smooth as gliding on top of a silk road. I was so close to get a straight for PMR 2 years ago, a horror that I do not want to go through again. *Prays* Only 10 straight A's. Nothing more, nothing less.

~Hugs~

~Tik Tok~

2010-11-16T17:31:00.000+08:00

Revising history is so boring and time consuming metaphorically like an evil clock with shiny beady eyes and sharp teeth slowly indulging his meal of time..
One by one
Second by second
Minute by minute
Hour by hour
No way, even my three tortoises outside can eat waayyy faster and better than you.

Feeling so sleepy now, probably because I had quite a hard time trying to force myself to sleep yesterday. Arhhh.. What is wrong with me, in this head of mine? Feeling super silly now for not realizing earlier that it will remind me indirectly of the recent past. Gawd, how could I actually unlock a nicely covered piece of memory from it's well hidden box underground when I took such a long time to bury it in the first place?

We could have, almost there but we did not. You was right.. It's nobody's fault, both of us somehow entered into each other's dimention at the wrong time. Said you felt like you are just a passer by who stepped into my life by accident when I got hurt badly inside and really needed someone to talk to, to feel appreciated and loved but not played with. Perhaps it is the reason you gave me all the things that I badly wished for from him but I always see you and him as two different people. I never take you as his substitution or back-up but again, I guess you are right, we clashed at the wrong time.. The time when I got heartbroken.

Still, it is a past. O_O

~Hugs~

~Yellow TWIG book~

2010-11-15T17:58:00.000+08:00

The feeling you get when you take out your diary from it's box, sit down on the floor and slowly read back the notes you made long time ago in primary school. Funnayyy~~ :) I cannot stop laughing upon reading how silly and simple my thinkings were like last time + all the 'no-eye-see' grammar and spelling errors. Can laugh until my head drop off.. I practically almost ran out of breath the moment I reached the end of each 'story'. Haha.. My gawd.. I was like: "Wow, Cai Yun. Is this really you?" xD

Overhaulin' is a very interesting show. I mean it. :)

~Hugs~

~Maze~

2010-10-30T13:31:00.000+08:00

Have always been wandering around the little green maze of my life while making a door out of each end route as I go. See the idea? When life gives you lemon, make lemonade but when life did not give you any lemon, grow your own lemon tree.

Was out for dinner at the 'Ming Tien Food court' with the ACG and this time, we were all discussing about the courses we should take after leaving Form 5. Instead of starting to get a clear picture of what course I should take in college next year, I am getting even lost. I desperately need to search and ask around about the other courses. I really need to know more, don't want to regret later on. And so, on thing I really dislike about having dinner here is mainly because people tend to smoke after they have their dinner and it ain't pleasant at all. My sister and I escaped into the toilet only to find three ladies smoking inside there. Gawd.. didn't they know they are not only killing themselves, but also people around them and the trees? I understand that smoking enables one to reduce stress but there are so many more other ways to do so and smoking is a rather silly option.

This is what I did with my graduation flowers the very moment I arrive home. :)

Love the roses weih.. Pretty nice to see all of the flowers in red but they are already starting to wilt.

Anyway, upon entering the food court, I saw this young toddler, a girl who was smiling, holding and happily shading her head with a small paper 'umbrella' ( the ones that are usually used as decorations on kid's birthday cake ). Soooo cute! :) Holding her other hand was her father, also holding an umbrella, a real one this time, shading them both while saying " No more rain already, dear ." Awww.. so sweet. :)

Will be off for a vacation to Korea soon on the 3rd of Nov and will be back on the 8th so basically, what I need to do now is to do lots of add math revisions, as much as I can before I go up the plane. I vow to bring my add math books along so that I could grab even the slightest chance given, if I can do it, why not? :)

It is so hard trying to keep pulling back but I know I need to try even harder to do so because I know my limits. I really do know and pretty aware of it ~ my own forbidden <3.

Went out to 1U to celebrate my dear " Baby Li Ling " 's birthday, the girl who has the best spot for me to be lame until the un-toleratable rate with her. All six of us, went for a movie with the title " Sammy's Adventure ~ The Secret Passage " with Li Ling's voice saying " Where is my Sammy? Sammy is so cute you know? Must watch Sammy! " ringing in my head the very moment I step my feet into 1U and until the part when Sammy appears. Haha.. she's so cute. The story line for this movie is just so-so but they way they show the life underwater was something worth seeing, not forgetting that it's just so annoying seeing that how hard some people were trying to clean up environment while some were happily causing major destructions like oil spillage and flying rubbish into the big blue sea. Saw how one plastic bag landed on Sammy's head causing him to be trapped in the head and almost die. Human can be really silly sometimes so yeah, I think more people need to watch this movie so that they can realize all the " help " they have done to the environment and the cute little sea creatures out there. So please, help the turtles! :)

Sometimes I really do not know what parents are thinking sometimes, they tend to think too much and get really suspicious at all the little things we are doing. Take yesterday's outing as an example. As everyone have already went back home except for me, HH stayed back to accompany me until my mum to wait for my mum to come. Brought me up to the open ' balcony-like-area ' and I badly wanted to sit on the kids slide but it was wet ( so sad ). My mum called and told me she has arrived so I quickly hurried down, asking HH to come out at a different time, knowing that my mum has a habit of feeling suspicious with me hanging out with any guy friend. And so when I got up the car, rushed for Bm tuition with Pei Yi, I was told by her that my when my mum called me, she heard a guy's voice and asked Pei Yi whether does she know who are the bunch of friends who are going for that outing and stuff like that. My gawd.. see what I mean? This is the reason of why I often wonder how fun and 'untied' my life would be if I am a guy. I do not need to get any ' weird look ' from my mum every time I ask if I could go out with my friends or not. It even go until the extend that I need to 'convert' some guy friend's name into a girl one just to prevent her from getting misunderstood. I understand that she's just worried if I hang out with the wrong friends or should I say, this imply to all of my guy friends but I do know, I am always aware with my social activities, I observe people's attitude alright? I do not fall in love easily. You trust me but I really hope you trust me fully by metaphorically give me wings. Love you mum.

~Hugs~

~Tune It On~

2010-10-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

" The heavens' under the foot of a mum "
No words can correctly describe all the things you have done or sacrificed for me. I remembered I once read about this story of a young girl who met an old artist who has the ability to draw one's portrait and then describe how his or her life had been like simply by looking at the position of the lines on their faces. The human face was said to represent a piece of smooth and white paper. Wrinkles and lines that are seen on one's face actually represents both bitter and sweet experiences that he or she had gone through. If we look closely, we will notice that there are some ugly lines which represents the bad experience and they are usually found on the forehead. However, there are also lines that as a matter of in fact, do make faces look prettier and are found around the cheeks. Based on this story, regardless it is true or not, I want to be among those who played a roll in placing these beauty lines on my mum's face simply because she deserves lots and lots of them. Back then in primary school, I have always wanted to give my mum a surprise on her birthday but I do not know how to drive and therefore, unable to buy a cake for her without her realizing at all. So every year, I would literally turn the whole kitchen upside down just to search for foods to be combined and create a 'cake' out of it. There were times when I used 'Twiggies', 'mini buns', and even made a pudding as a base for the 'cake' decorated with numerous of colourful sweets, fruits, sliced cheese, lollipops, jellies and chocolates. For this year, I came out with the idea of using the 'blueberry cheese - flavoured' moon cake as the base and practically, I had to sneak the cutting board, knife and etc into the study room with the help of my sister without my mum realizing. Our 'cake' turned out to be like this :)

* Picture has yet to be inserted due to some technical problem *

Urm.. I understand that it is very far from how a birthday cake should look like but honestly, all I want to do is to give her something made using both my hands, my own effort especially to somebody who means the world to me. Thank goodness she loved the cake. :) Sincerity DO pays off. I love you mummy. Happy Birthday once again. :)

This week has been a really hard week.. :(

We both were told a different story, this actor really deserves an award. Trying too hard to catch my shadow, but did you know you are stepping on your drip of vinegar all these while? Comparisons are never my thing, only yours because I aim to go forward by focusing on how I am doing in the present which is the exact opposite of the way on how you see things. Perhaps using a measuring tape to measure the clothes you are wearing on yourself will help you to see that the world is a much bigger space compare to being seen as a room used to chase after other people's achievements. The new foe in a friend.

Leaning back to back under the shades of the tree, she could only keep quiet waiting for the wind to stop blowing making it the last time for them to feel each other's back. Another analogy.

I will never give up on you. Never, never, never and ever! I believe that together we can create a miracle as long as we believe we can fly to the moon, my DDDEEEEAAAAARRRRRR ADD MATH! :)
OOOOOooooooooooOOOOSSSSsssssshhhhhHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! :D

Woke up in a shock this morning for I-don't-know-what-reason and as I was getting off the bed, my foot accidently slided hard against the side of the bed causing half of my baby toe nail crack and broke off. Haha.. Thank God it did not bleed so can be considered as a small incident. In fact, I think I was pretty lucky! :) Okay, lesson of the day : " Always remember to keep your feet nails well trim at all time " :)

~Hugs~

~Mushroom In A Bag~

2010-10-08T15:38:00.000+08:00

Received a parcel containing two transparent plastic bags filled full up to the brim with sand-like fillings and both sealed tightly with a plastic cover on the top, attached with a piece of instruction sheet on how to start growing your own mushroom using the mushroom kit. :) Thank you mum and also to the contribution of biotechnical science which allows young kids and perhaps one or two teenagers like me to have an opportunity to grow something real and edible ( instead of growing all sorts of fruits, flowers or veggies in FARMVILLE.com ) * Finally and thank God * :D These are some snapshots I took while on the journey to grow these mushrooms :

1) The two bags of mushroom kits :)

No fuss, no mess, just sprinkle some water around the top opening of the bag and leave it for two nights.

2) On the second night

The one on the left seems to grow so much slower than the one on the right but they are not big enough so this indicated that we have to leave them to grow for another night.

3) On the morning of the third day

My mum harvested the mushroom which are bigger in size. This is definately not a toy although it may seems like one to you so here is the bottom view of the mushroom :)

Blink your eyes, rub them or stare at the screen for a long time if you want but there is nobody in the world who can make a mushroom this detail out from clay unless they are grown except for God :)

4) The last standing mushroom

Saw how beautifully the morning sunlight falls on this piece of edible umbrella fungus? It looks so mesmerizing and as if it is glowing like those type of magical mushroom you can find in the forest in fairy tales. If there is a beauty pageant for this, my mushroom is sure to win :D

.......................................

They both end up as one of our dinner dish that night ( Yeah, I know what you are going to say ) but I am proud to say it tasted awesomely deliciously fresh. I just can't wait for another mushroom cycle :)

~Hugs~

~For My Dear Son~

2010-10-05T17:51:00.000+08:00

I know it is really saddening to have to let go of the person you like and meant a lot to you by force but it must have hurt even more to see her on a relationship with someone else non other than your own friend. Nobody want this to happen so please do not put all the blame on yourself. Never ever feel shy and hold your tears back but cry out instead so that you will feel better. Every single human that is living on the Earth now have feelings and therefore, have the right to choose who they want to love but remember, you have already tried your best, did all you can and have been very patient to deal with time because you holds strongly to all the things she said. The most important thing is to move on and find someone else who will appreciate you and love you just the way you are. It is never easy to find someone who you love and at the same time loves you back in the future but if you do come across such person one day, treasure her well. This is much better than waiting for someone who's heart isn't with you. You will then realize that everything happened for a reason, simply because she is not the one for you. Love is something, a power that glows within two individuals and not one. Since she did not appreciate you, do not frown and just move forward, forget the past. The best thing you can do now is to seek for the truth behind all this. After that, it's up to you to decide whether to hang on or vice-versa. Give yourself some time and most importantly, love yourself :)

Mummy will be here for you.

Stay strong, son.

~Hugs~

~The Great History~

2010-09-25T00:38:00.000+08:00

Few days ago, mummy received a lovely hand-wrotten white envelope from the postman to my dad and when she opened it, guess what was the first thing that we both read?

..............

" PEMBERITAHUAN KETIDAKHADIRAN KE SEKOLAH : AMARAN PERTAMA "

My gawd.. Hahaha..

This is the first time ever in my whole entire life that I actually received a letter from school regarding my absence to school for a total of 14 days. Great way to leave a mark on this last year of secondary school life because I broke my record for not feeling tied up by the school rules which I never really cared as I always managed to shift " it " away steadily without fail. But of course, my mum and I both knew that the cause are basically because every Saturday and any days which have events cum activities cum plans that have absolutely nothing to do with academical studies regardless whether it will last for half or whole day are always an Official Off-Day for Us Both.

Indeed memorable. I shall keep this letter safely :)

~Hugs~

~Uglies~

2010-09-14T12:27:00.000+08:00

Both my eyes were feeling really heavy yesterday morning and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw the reason why. My right eyes seemed to be smaller in size and swollen at the bottom lid. I stared at my reflection for a very long time and told myself it is alright to be ugly that morning, a perfect match for the recent ugly memory of this ugly girl who has an ugly heart, moulded in an ugly manner and stuck with the feeling of being stabbed with millions of fries shaped into sharp swords. But I want to keep my life in order so even with those ugly tears in my eyes, I forced myself to say '' I'm okay " with a smile and managed to give that ugly girl in the mirror a last glimpse before I leave the room. The clock showed 8 o'clock and I remembered I have to help my mum with the lantern making that she had been patiently waiting for me to finish it for the past few days. I felt so guilty looking at the lantern which half of it was painted really ugly yesterday while the other half of it that I did on the previous morning was so much better in colours. I think I have just spoilt the lantern but nobody seemed to realize. I have to sit for Valery's account tuition exam after that and was confident that I will be able to do my papers in satisfactory like the last time with a full marks in the Documen. Did my revision until 4 pm but I had a really hard time trying to re-wind and re-absorb the formats and formulas like the way I did last time. Later on, I got a very bad feeling about the exam the very moment I step into the car but it is okay, I just need to relax, too nervous I guess. During the exam, my head ache real badly because I have been having a hard time trying to sleep, thinking so much that night cum morning and every figures that I wrote looked uglier and uglier, turning my test sheets into an ugly pile of nothing but rubbish. I could not equalize my Documen and there were just so much cutting lines. This is the first time I saw my Documen ended up in such ugly way and I do not know how to react when my mum asked me about the exam that I look really seriously into. I felt so stupid.. I hate this feeling :( Hopefully I will not do the same mistakes again for the next coming exam as a replacement for this one. Gambatte! :)

I love the way you lie.

I never like to lie not because of the god, religious lessons or strongly obeying the efforts my parents put in to mould me up but because I always think that when it comes to telling lies, you are not lying to anybody but yourself. Lying actually covers away the individuality and originality in you. Plus, trust is very important anything you do. I love myself too much to lie.

The nice part. Not exactly nice but nicer.

At first I thought everything will be alright after I woke up yesterday morning but it did not simply because I could not believe that this friend I have turned out to be someone this frightening. I believe that you do not have a cold heart, not even in a million years because I trust you. Somehow, I kept thinking that there is a reason behind everything you do, I believe you do.

Okay, here's the mean part.

Perhaps what you said were true but everyone have their own right to choose who to like or love knowing that they do not necessary need to gain something out from it because firstly, nobody ask them to do it, they are just doing it our of their freewill. And secondly, there is no such thing as asking for permissions. Is that a problem to you? Actually, it got absolutely nothing to do with you because... I never ask for one back, so? You do not need to or have to care, ignore if you want to but for the mean time, I will follow what it says inside here, in this heart of mine because it came, stays so deeply making me cannot let go easily. As simple as that. You can call me anything you want but I am telling you this, you cannot control who I choose to like. It is none of your business because I do not think it bothers you in whatsoever ways. And yes, fries are not good food but why do people still enjoy eating it? As a matter of in fact, fries are full with fats, high in cholesterol and even encourage the release of ammonia gas ( Told you I am not nice ) but so what? Foods do not need to be good to be eaten but it can taste as good as chocolates as long as you like eating it, it is the only thing that matters. So yeah, keep quiet and accept the fact.

I like fries.

And you do not need to care.

I admit I am stubborn but I like being this way. But the most important thing is..

I am not lying to myself or playing with my own feelings because I know it better than you do.

~Hugs~

2010-09-10T13:00:00.000+08:00

How nice would it be if you open the door on one beautiful morning just to find yourself looking at a huge lovely parcel wrapped with just a plain brown paper. When you unwrap the parcel, the very first thing you see is another slightly smaller box with a letter on the top asking you to calculate the amount of goodies you have in the box. You remove the letter, put it on the floor and open the smaller box. It is full with chocolates. Your eyes glows brightly as you pick the chocolate one by one from its' box and carefully arrange it in a 10 x 10 manner while noticing that each types of chocolates appear only once. The colonies consist of 365 delicious army. At the very bottom of the box, you saw another letter saying that each chocolates represents a day in a year and eating one every day represents the giver's wish to you hoping that every moments you go through in each day of your life will be sweet. Your eyes turn watery as you read the last sentence of the letter, quietly whispering the same thing under your breath. Suddenly you heard footstep behind you and when you turn your head around..

I woke up from my sleep. Oh gawd.. fancy waking up at the wrong time like this morning. :( It felt so real. Haha.. no wonder sometimes people rather stay asleep. But you have to agree it is rather saddening that it was just a dream especially waking up at the part when I almost see who is the human standing behind me. Haha.. It made me wonder is there somebody in the world who is willing to spend the time and effort to prepare such surprise for the one they love? Perhaps yes but most of the time, it only appear in Tv shows and movies.

......

My goodness... so sweet weih...

I should have eat one chocolate before waking up. Haha..

Alright, I have finish my account tuition homework and we are having exam from 4.30 pm to 7.30 pm next week. Smart way that teacher came up with to make us all have a good preparation for the coming school accounting exam :)

Relax when you are sick, carry on and do what you must do as if you are not feeling unwell. This is a healthy way to handle sickness. Try :) I have always been setting my mind firm on the " so what? " attitude whenever I feel I am about to fall ill or fighting my own immune war and it works all the time~~ 0% failure. The power of mind :)

Bro Sis Me

Where are you going to later? Your friend's Raya party is it?

Sendiri tanya sendiri jawab

Tsk..

My friend's house

At where?

Mummy will be dropping me at Yuk Chai and my other friend will be fetching me to that other friend's house

Why so secretive one?

Yeah, like you are going to exchange something and then being brought to other places like that

Haha

Drug trading syndicate

Exchange brief case, hide it under your coat and look left and right. Coast clear

*Laugn*

I feel so silly now. Exactly 4 nights cum mornings consequently.. Gawd.. Will it be the 5th today?

~Hugs~

2010-09-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when I see Encik Idaham, I can't help feeling like putting both my hands in front of him just incase his eyes fall out. Heh.

Negative thoughts bring lack of confidence to oneself. True.

Humbleness in one is said to be lack of confidence. Wert?

Welcome! I am finally back to blogging :)

......... :(

I am so going to make full use of these coming two weeks holiday to compete all the promises that I have made for myself. You can fly if you just believe.

The Buddhist motivation talk in school after recess yesterday was surprisingly quite interesting, so different from what I thought it might turn out as at first. We were shown various types of motivation videos and I almost cried watching them... again. However, such motivations do not last long as it decreases in time naturally but it differs among individuals. So while the speaker was talking about something else, I thought that if we watch one motivation video everyday, perhaps we might stay motivated like yesterday that is IF you are someone who gets distracted easily. Otherwise, watching once in a blue moon will just be enough. If you just believe and have courage, the world's in your hands. The talk ended with the speaker chanting some blessings in language that most of us are not familiar with. Sadly, I used to memorize and know how to chant all those prayers but it went poooffff after I stop attending the Sunday school many years back. Back then, we were all only taught how to memorize these prayers without understanding the meaning it holds because basically, we were just students and have not reach the appropriate 'level' yet.

About the religious book, I was told that the books were only given to those who were sitting in the front row as there are in limited quantities. So whoever who wants to read what the book is about, I am more than glad to give mine to you because by right, books like these are meant to be shared and not kept to oneself. Plus, I have already quite some number of religious books sitting on the bookshelves back at home so yeah, tell me if you want kay? :)

The elephants roam the street and left nothing else standing except for a deep foot mark and dusts.

The sudden sneezing are so supportive and are loyal to me until today. My gawd..

Bye bye go away

Come again another day

You are causing flu for real

Bye bye go away

My noooosssssseeeeeeeeeee *sniff*

Follow what your heart says because the feeling of satisfactory will fill you although it may not be the right decision but there is a slight possibility that it will ease your thoughts. Nothing is impossible and if you really feel like doing it then go on because nobody ca stop you.

Again, people often mistaken my words for other meanings.

Conclusion?

It is not what I meant but it is what you think that reflects your personality and not mine.

I may sound pissed but I am not.

I may sound irritated but I am not.

I may sound annoyed but I am not.

Nobody have the ability to shake my emotions terribly except for one.

And so far, it will definately not be anyone out there except you.

Simply because I still care a lot.

My supply of tissues are running nothing but

low low low low low low low low.

I really feel like complaining, I am so annoyed and very upset with my nose! :( Why must it be this sensitive. Oh, wait.. LOL

I am born with a sensitive nose means that I got a ~~

Dust-detecting machine! x)

Hey you, yes you! Do you have one too? Ahh, don't have to say because I can guess it out. It is a big loud NO right? Hah!

............. =.=! *Haih*

I do not want to make a fuss about this but.. I am feeling really upset now. I need someone to talk to.. please come online :(

~Hugs~

~Headache~

2010-08-15T18:57:00.000+08:00

I love my

Nestle Fat Free Yogurt in Peach :) Yummmm.. Oh wait,I'm suppose to gain weight :(

Sometimes, the thoughts of how one could actually fall in love in such short time easily really give me nerves and send shivers down my spine, to my feet and then back to the spinal chord and go all the way to the head and spin there. As a matter of in fact, many of us these days tend to go for a relationship although after knowing each other for only less than six months just because they feel really happy with the presence of the other person and fun playing or fooling around with each other. It's quite saddening for both sides if their relationship ended usually because of three main reasons: Jealousy, Lack of Trust and lastly, not being Caring or Understanding enough so I have heard. However, it is actually very normal if such problems occur because those who are involve in relationships are considered " fully blinded " by a piece of cloth over their eyes and therefore, may act selfish and lures out the ego monster IF they are not aware that the main cause is expecting too much from their partner. He or she may be yours BUT do not belongs to you fully so the action of controlling his or her usual lifestyles is indeed..childish UNLESS the " limits drawn " is being crossed over.

P.s.: I am not referring to anybody or whatsoever incident but you are free to be perasan.

Thank you.

Avoid talking about or judging how other people's relationship ended because firstly, it only involve two of them and secondly, it is already a past. Past tense. In this case, we as the outsider should only see, listen and try to understand the situation so that we can be careful not to repeat the same mistakes that other people did on themselves but not more than that. Never talk bad about other people although sometimes it is a real obvious who's mistakes was that or express your feeling from a third person's point of view not because the ones involved are your friends but instead, it is not right to talk bad behind other people's back. Do you understand that? I am sure you wouldn't like it too if people do the same thing to you one day.

Yes or No.

Truthfully, when I asked you to choose either one that day, I was not thinking of anything else except to make the situation clear, I just want to know what is it that you're hiding in that heart of yours and nothing more than that. That time, you seemed so unsure of what you wanted and it was like in the end, you decided under force or pressure. How much I want you to know that every time I ask you anything about this is never for the intension to move one step closer and instead, I just want a word of confirmation from you simply because I cannot read your mind. At the same time, trying to make sure I am not making other people as your substitute because I do not want to linger around other people's feeling,giving false hope like some playboy. Can you see that? But on that very morning too, I noticed that whenever after I come up with this topic, I will end up leaving the conversation without first seeing what you are going to say (so rude,yeah I know) OR feeling like a badly made rojak OR getting a headache ( you are not the only one feeling like this ). And so, I hereby conclude that I shall not start talking about this with you anymore because we always left it hanging halfway in the air. I am sincerely apologizing for all the bother I have caused to you and myself from the very bottom of my heart. I'm not dreaming, I am very awake from the very beginning. I will put this all aside until Spm ends and hopefully it will all disappear swallowed by time.

What do you call someone who talks to a crazy person? Whatever you are calling me. I forgotten that I am not suppose to take everything people said seriously. But honestly, I mind it a lot.

Firstly, we will sit for the school's paper, then trials then Spm. All three one after another in just two months time..crazy..

~Hugs~

~Turn~

2010-08-12T00:01:00.000+08:00

Keeping this short and simple..

I do not know what I'm thinking,I know this is not right..A home in a shoe which belongs to an elephant,hard to shift.Riddle solved in days.Another allegory but I believe you are the only person who know what I meant from this phrase..

Cuz we both know

~Hugs~

~Blooooowwwww with the winds :)~

2010-08-08T11:07:00.000+08:00

"Jelly Bean

The Original Gourmet Jelly Bean

30 Flavours"

Once you pop em' in,you can't stop.I'm lovinnn' it :)

Is it rude to shake off or wipe my hands off anything if it was touched by someone of the opposite gender? Erh..seemed like it. Heh. Must I really change this attitude? :( But I was just 'reserving'..

*Laughs*

Red. Break!

Yellow. Vroom vroom..

Green. Vrooooommm!

Red. Banggggg...

(Ooopsie..)

Traffic lights~they do not appear only on the road but also in our lives,anywhere,anytime,they follow you all around in anything you do,before during and after. Things that happen one after another are often caused by the consequences of the actions you take from the beginning until the very end. It means that we should really stop and think before we decide on doing or saying something. And then,get ready because you do not know what will be happening next. After you decide,just do it. But then you might not be lucky for the first attempt so if you fall,pull yourself up and say 'I can do it!' Even babies can do that, why can't us? Awesome young humans. Keep pushing and pushing and pushing until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing bad stays forever,just have faith in yourself.

Throw,throw,throw until you find the right one.

I'm so determine to change my 'emo' mode, it's making me feeling so old.. I'm missing of all the good and fun things :) I'll put on a smile every morning to have a great-kick start of the day! Wooootttt~~~~~ Must stay happy-licious,yun! :)

~Hugs~

~Peek~

2010-08-05T21:53:00.000+08:00

My tarot card reading from Le'Ann said that today,tomorrow and the day after tomorrow aren't going to go smoothly.So far,so good.Please maintain it this way :)

If I tell you that I rather lose then to choose,is it a wise option?

The tarot card said that I'm going to be lack of vision today but I just got myself a new pair of spectacle. Heh :)

I'm really starting to believe that he was a gold digger in his past life but stop doing that,I have no gold,only earth.

Acting silly and rather stupid could have save you from any unwanted incident~like today.

I don't want to go to school this Saturday cuz I got tuition..eww,he hand-shaked me today on the stage for the certificate ceremony trials~I need a hand sanitizer.

The class mural is almost done..thank goodness..I can't imagine how my life would be standing another backache.

You made me smile in my dreams.If only you did that one month ago,the situation that I'm in now wouldn't have to be this way.Complicated~~

~Hugs~

~Gracious~

2010-08-01T01:47:00.000+08:00

I hate it when people argue..hate it hate it hate it..hate it even more when you see insulting and vulgar words flying here and there like rocket.I find it really scary..really..It's like putting a samurai sword on a dining table when everything can be settle if you could just grab a chair and sit down with a cup of coffee in hand.If things does not go the way it's suppose to be,at most you can just splash the cup of coffee at that person and just walk away instead of throwing plates,cups,spoons of forks.

Breath in,breath out and say the prayers :)

~Hugs~

~Relax and Let Go~

2010-07-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

We should really apply this in our daily lives..yeah,should really do that.

I'm doing that now..Sorry my dear.I didn't expect the relationship between us to end in such a way,so fast which I thought that we might last until I leave Form 5.Sorry that from today onwards,I will need to put you aside because we cannot communicate any longer.We both know that.I will never forget all the wonderful things you have done for me and all the memories you had gave me will be cherished forever.I will miss the way you sing for me everyday and will never forget to wake me up from my sleep to go for tuition.You are always there for me by my side,lighting up the night.I love you.

Bye bye Nokia.Please don't blame Samsung yeah? :)

After searching for two days,I'm still unable to land my hands on a new Hotlink Youth Club plan number which must only be my favourite 017,too choosy I suppose but yeah,I love and rather stay loyal to the number 7 than 2 or 4.

Just wanna shout out loud that..

I have learnt how to communicate using sign language!There are no words that could best explain the joy of experiencing the life of the deaf and succeed picking up a new communication skill :) Thank you so much Polar :)

Lovely grinding machine,my mum has been using it quite frequently these days to produce all sorts of drinks such as the black rice,barley,corn and got quite surprised when I was presented a cup of grinded sea coral drink.Yup,corals which have soft texture,tasted like jello and trust me,although it may sounds creepy and weird but it's definately mmmmm... :) My grandma said that sea corals are good for our body health but I absolutely have no idea who came up with the recipe of making corals into one of our drinks.It's evil..our earth needs them,VERY in need of them.The drink may seems like no big deal but honestly it's very disgusting thinking that you have just drank a coral.Poor thing.Same goes to foie gras.Ever heard of it before?Many do not know that foie gras are actually the liver that belongs to a goose and in order to obtain the perfect size of it,people would actually be so willing to put their humanitarian aside to force loads and loads of food into the goose's beak and made them swallow it by force.In the end,some of these geese would die by choking on the foods itself.Sad sad..how can people actually be so mean?Selfish brat.Grrahhh..

~Hugs~

~Alaska~

2010-07-31T00:19:00.000+08:00

When I think back...

I can't help it but to start laughing~again.Oh,such hilarious moments although it's just a 5 to 10 minutes chat on msn when I didn't attend school yesterday. Gawd..haha..

LOL

He seemed so serious about it but it's really funny thinking how hard I tried to act really silly,dumb and blur(whatever it's called) just to twist the question which is headed for me to another guy friend. Made him sounded like a gay but yeah..just to avoid answering his question and so,when I got pushed to the end road,I...

pushed off the 'OFF' button on the modem.

Oh,so mean but surprisingly,I can't even remembered how he got my number but everything settle d :)

Is my memory that bad?

I can't even recall who I gave my number to and whenever I receive any messages from any unknown numbers,I would be wondering how on earth did they get it?It's like..I didn't even realize when or know how people actually get mine and usually the feedbacks are either I gave them(which I forgotten when) or they got it from the other friend.Such a surprise but anyway..I'm changing my number pretty soon into another new number for the Hotlink Youth Club plan (hopefully got lots of '8's) Now,waiting for the release of a new group of numbers *Smile*

Didn't want to but have to so going to~

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind,for me it happens all the time..I'm all alone and I need you now.

On a different person?Perhaps..I'm not too sure myself..still putting it under consideration.

Focus,concentrate,hypnotise.FCH?

Uhh,my throat is killin' me.

~Hugs~

~Scraps and scratches~

2010-07-29T13:50:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning and after I took my early breakfast,my tummy sabotaj-ed and made me vomit it out in the washroom sink..there goes the cup of milk :( My mum made me change the school uniform and sent me up to bed immediately after I took the medicine. Sad,I was thinking to let my body get over the disease by it's own~immune system not working well.My fault..should have eaten the durian that night padahal I'm already heaty inside.To make things worst,I can't even taste the durian-ness in the durian at all when I consume it~all I tasted was the coldness and 'lam bek bek' feeling.. Sad**

So..i'm feeling so bad that my absence to school might effect the class's mural painting for the school's 'so-called' National Day wall painting competition among classes because we all need to finish it in a hurry.While you guys are painting the walls,I'm at home unable to give a helping hand for today..Soooo sorrryyyyy..Promise that I'll be back to tomorow :)

Wave your hands,grab mine and let's fly with Fly FM :)

There's a force pulling you back because of the past memories and not because of the one who gave you them.
True or false?

We humans can really be impatient and rough when it comes to doing things our way especially when we're in a hurry..One good example?In the kitchen :)
Okay,now imagine this.It's one hot Sunday afternoon and you're all alone at home.Your tummy making unbearable noises so you decided to explore the fridge and perhaps see if you can make anything edible out from it.Sandwiches sounds just awesome.The first ingredients would be the scramble eggs and off you run your fingers through the tray of Omega 3 eggs picking the best looking eggs.As you see,the shell is the home to a young hawt chick so to create a good impression,follow this rule:
* As a guest,it's our norm to be polite at all times.So,remember to put on a smile(regardless it's by force or naturally) and politely knock on the door to ask for permission before entering the house*

1 ) Knock softly

Nobody answer

2 ) Knock again (slightly harder this time)

Still nobody answer. The chick that you are expecting might still be asleep.Look for the doorbell but sure don't have (duh..) but just buat rupa jer-la.Maintain the smile.

3 ) Knock with force

No sound.Stupid chick.

4 ) Use full strength to lift up the whole 'house' and do the mexican shake.

Still no answer.Looks like the chick wants to play hide and seek with you but you got no time,you're starting to feel as if you can eat 100 pieces of puzzle.

5 ) Hit on the door for three to four times until you heard a cracking sound.

You see it!The light is shining from beneath~~the smell of success!

...........

You broke the door by accident.Look left to right,make sure nobody is in sight and put on a wide grin.

6 ) Pull the 'door' apart

Uh oh..not a good idea..you pulled the fragile door to hard and the 'wall' came out with it.Heh.

Ploooooppppp...You're doing a drama now.Instead of a hawt chick in sight,a fat-yellow-goo looking watery-semi solid-thing is displayed right in front of your eyes.Aihhh...disappoint-nya..terlalu kecewa..

7 ) Place the egg on a pan,move it over the stove and turn the gas on....*Sizzle....*

Saw the evilness in human?

Another analogy:

The staircase of our lives. Involves the story of a red bouncing ball and it's fate with Left and Right.

----------------

---- ----

L ----- ----- R

That's basically how my stairs looks like.The 'O' is the red ball.'L' would be the original beginning while 'R' would be the next decision.As what you can see,mine is located on the top of the stairs now and it wouldn't roll to the left or right because when the wind comes,it'll know where it should head to.But once in a while it'll roll to the edge of the flat surface to take a glimpse on the R but careful enough not to do nothing more than that.Let the wind decide everything.

Thank you Britny :)

~Hugs~

~Sealed~

2010-07-22T18:08:00.000+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday Britny dear :)

At first,everything seems great..plans went smoothly,wonderful road I'm driving on,awesome weather,people smiling,cameras clicking,cake cutting ceremony,bought packs and packs of tissues,went around thanking those who were involved,watched them left and finally able to settle down and enjoy my piece of green pandan-flavoured cake~grinning..and then..I heard his name..it wasn't loud,but just enough for me to notice..All I know is out of sudden,the cake doesn't seems like a cake anymore,my hands froze and the curve on my face seems so heavy,it went down..The pain came,it lasted for a very long time..He walked past..It seems like time is slowing down everything..I felt like a camel,carrying a whole load of water but I wouldn't want to let it flow out,not in front of anybody.I don't want to cry,don't make me cry in front of you again,it's ugly.Don't ask me anything,don't make me spill out what's in me,don't pull away my mask,you're not suppose to be what's behind it.I do not need anybody to care for me now..Just give your attention to someone else who needs it more than I do but not me.The one I trusted actually does not trust me as much as I do to him..You might just be the same..Please do not come near..You know my style,I keep my door close tight..I do not want people to see me as a task~a task to cheer all of his friends up.I'm difficult and can be really unexpected..So..leave me alone.

Like what I've expected..I got a loooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggg lecture from my mum.

~Hugs~

Limits

2010-07-21T12:44:00.000+08:00

Somehow,I'm glad that nothing happens,how silly I was last time for wishing for it so much cuz now,I finally see that nothing comes easily..Just say if one day u get it somehow,it will still find a way to slip off right just between your fingers.Hypotheses?The harder you grip it,the higher chance you will lose it~just like carrying sands in your palm.One moment it's there,the other moment..it just went poooooffff* into the air.However,there's a bliss behind all these unexpected incident..Fated.My dear,you still have all of us :) He's going to regret losing such treasure.

I can't promise..I don't know why..Perhaps,that car plat..among all cars,why is it that one?I was fine,was so sure of it..until that day when my mum fetched me home from Edusmart tuition..That blue-ish grey-ish car that is right in front of me..carries the first three alphabet of his name..the four numbers behind..appears in his hphone number..not one but both..pure coincident..even the car plat wants to play with me..goodness gracious..what on earth is happening?Stop messing with my feelings..is there suppose to be a hidden meanings behind this?

Surprised?Regret?

2010-07-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

"Your birthday gift is my forgive-ness to you" LOL

Surprisingly,the music player is still functioning pretty well.No wonder,all he did was just to smile when I told him about the wonderful night his darling had been spending in the washing machine..Haha,alright.Thank you so much for the 'gift' :)

I love 5 Seroja :)
Thanks for the wonderful cake and 'surprise' celebration you guys planned for some time.Really enjoy myself today.Thanks for making all these such wonderful memories that will be in my head forever.Happy 17th Birthday to my dear Pei Yi,Shahirah and Caleb :)

I don't care..I don't care..I don't care anymore.I don't want to hear the words that I've been longing to hear from you previously anymore.Jump off the bus if you want to~go on.I'm not even thinking of stopping you.Do not fall for me.I'm saying this for one last time.I'm sorry..I once loved you,I really do.Do you know how it feels like to be waiting for a reflection that will not be there?All you did was just leaving me a message asking me to reserve a chair for you before you left and never came back until it's the right time.I took your words seriously,so seriously and left a seat for you beside mine but do you know that I do not know how longer I can reserve that seat for you?While you're away,many passer by sat on that seat.I was lonely.Instead of you,it's all those friends I have that are the ones that seen me laugh,cry,angry..everything..while you're suppose to be the one seeing all these.They are the ones who kept on coming over to talk to me but you?You were NEVER there for me at all when I needed someone's care the most.I kept on trying to find any chance I have to talk to you but you never do that to me.One after another,I kept lying to myself thinking that one day you realize what's going on and do what you should do.I feel so unappreciated and a fool.Now,I'm taking things from granted not to "take everything you said seriously".Everything ends here.If you think there's something wrong with me,think again.

Don't love me cuz I won't love you anymore.I'm moving on.

Beginning with an 'I'

2010-07-07T13:31:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to feel very comfortable now but at the same time,why am I feeling scared?

I don't know..Something has changed.

I just realized that I forgotten to remove his music player from my pocket after that poolside party last Sunday~~it went swimming in the washing machine for one night!Surprisingly,he didn't say anything when I told him about it..Omg..scold me la..I feel so bad now..Weiihhh arhh...Omg..why can't you just get angry at me now?!

I'm so so so so so sorry..really sorry..Want me to replace another one for you?

~Hugs~

C 'n' C

2010-07-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

What I can say is...

I have already told what is hidden back behind the scenes,but it's up to you to decide whether to believe me or not.I'm surprised you believed what other people were thinking and saying about me back there while previously,I was confident you wouldn't go with the flow because I thought you would know that I would not make such decision unless there are other reasons behind..You didn't trust me..After knowing me for so long,do I seems like that type of person to you~selfish?

I gave in,one after another,I even lose count of how many times I did that.Any normal human would easily get tired with it so I suppose that would be the last exam to determine whether I should move on.The next time I see you will be the answer to the last paper.

"Very nice.You have done a great job and I can see that you're almost 80% there now to get your job done.You and your friend are both good but she's sure going to feel threaten by your work now."

I dislike praises like that.I find it creepy..really..I notice that why do people often like to involve me in any sorts of comparisons with someone else or wanted to compete with me directly or indirectly?I did it all just because I want to do my work my way,my style,just the way I want it to be but people have been receiving the wrong message.Just because most people are like that,but it doesn't mean that I am like one of them too,right? :) By making yourself as the biggest opponent,you don't even have the time or care to bother how far other people have been doing :)

~Hugs~

~Your day~

2010-07-02T00:18:00.000+08:00

Today is your day and you know that :)
Happy 15th Birthday Chye Soon,my dear almost-one-head-taller-than-me brother..Lucky boy,stop pretending that you can't see Cai Li and I just because we are shorter.Anyway..here comes the wishes :)

1)Only straight A's allowed for your Pmr examination this year kay?No excuse *Grin* Nola,just try your very best and make us proud.The prize?I'm going to find ways to help you get rid of your volcanoes.Awesome :)

2)Please stop growing any taller.You are going to sit on the car's roof top pretty soon.

3)I hope you will forever stay happy,healthy and hyper.Keep on laughing and rolling cuz that's why we all love you,you and your wild imaginations,so much better than the monkeys.Heheh..

4)"HOO SHAOul we meet LING with?" *Wink* Heheheheh..Don't look at her d la,you already got Cai Li and I :P So greedy.

5)I love you

6)I love love you

7)I love love love you

8)Please be a good boy.Don't curi-curi log on9 when mum leaves the house cuz that's my initial.Copyrighted xP

9)Smile always.I promise I'll forever be there for you.*Muahh* Aih..so geli..

10)Your birthday gift is still with me.I'll make you search for it yourself.Hahahaha..By the way,it's from Cai Li and I so yeah,handle with great care.Once broken consider sold.

Grats,you are getting older :P

~Hugs~

Smiles

2010-06-25T21:58:00.001+08:00

I never felt so comfortable with myself before until today.You somehow,can really find away to my deepest thoughts and make me spill out all those things that had been bottled inside me for so long..Thanks for opening my bottle and being so understanding.Hey,you know what?You are one awesome friend :) *Smiles* I'm alright,really :) And I promise,next time if you need a friend to talk to,I'll always be there like how you had been there for me today,seeing my ugly tears *Laughs*

Mid Of your birthday and mine :) We're are going out!!!!!

Exam.Lack of two to get straight A's.Haih..add math and moral,I wonder when would I be able to score you two gourds?Hahaha..

Wishing people around you good luck is not as bad as it seems.Haha..Infact,now I decided to do that if there's any chance cuz I found out something :) Seize the opportunity,after all it's just a nice wish so why do people see at as one major thing as if it'll bring some negative effect? Somehow,do you realize that even the smallest thing can show another side of one?It's just like a small test which most people fail terribly in.

How come..it doesn't seems to bother me much anymore? It's just like "Whatever..don't feel like doing the conversation..uhh,not me again so okay,ignore.." every time I see you..like now..I don't even know whether are you still interested to talk to me or not..

~Hugs~

Falling Meteorites

~ My Blue Moon ~

~ When Silence Is the Loudest ~

~Meal Menu~

~Love ♥~

~Rise when the sunshines~

~More Reasons to Smile~

~Silent Thoughts~

Apologizing simply means that you treasure the relationship rather than putting the ego-istic your first.

Asking for help simply means that you open up your heart to accept your lack rather than putting yourself in denial state.

Confessing simply means that you found that one missing puzzle who completes you and will collect your courage to refrain her from leaving you rather than building fence out of low self confidence.

At the end of the day, it comes down to asking yourself 3 simple questions:

How much does it means to me?

How far am I willing to go for it?

Is it worth it?

P.s.: This is one part you will learn from watching Transformers. :)

I know this sounds weird but I find my mum rather rather cute when she gets angry, confused, or starts mumbling and nagging at the whole world and I can't help but to start laughing. LOL. And one good thing about that? It sorta cools her down~~ sometimes. :p

Big meanie. Big bullies. Should find a better hobby yeah? :)

Happy 16th Birthday :)

我们不知道自己会活到多久, 但是如果只能活一天, 也要好好'guo'日子.

(Translated slowly one-by-one from english word to chinese using

trial-n-error method by from Google Translate. *Whew.. so tiring* :p)

a.k.a.

We do not know how long we will be able to live and just say if we were to left only a day of our life, we still have to live that one day meaningfully.

So, we should really cherish every single second, opportunity and breath we have by performing good deeds and contributing back to the society because.. we might not want to feel regret later on in life. Treasure our parents well and all individuals whom you love and means a lot to you yeah? :)

Three years has passed, you are in New Zealand and I have moved on with my life but recently, I received news from the birds that you hadn't. If I can do it, why can't you too?

~ Thought of the Day 4~

Gan en! :)

~Hugs~

~Delayed Chronology~

~ 5 minutes to 12a.m. ~

~ At the end of the Rainbow ~

~A Tribute to the Angels Out There~

~Whisper of The Heart~

~New resolutions~

~Let the Pictures Do the Talking~

~ Prays and smiles ~

~ For the Society ~

~ Break Free ~

~Boredom~

~ Mssg u~

~Undang Delight~

~Mushroom~

~ Keep It Playin' In My Head ~

~ 4th Jan 2010 ~

~College Dilemma~

~ New Year Tale ~

~Shadow~

~Just A Dream~

~Tissue Girl~

~The "And So's"~

~Short and simple~

~ Like A Toy ~

~Another boring post~

~Our Promise~

~Lucky him~

~Beliefs~

~Tik Tok~

~Yellow TWIG book~

~Maze~

~Tune It On~

~Mushroom In A Bag~

~For My Dear Son~

~The Great History~

~Uglies~

~Headache~

~Turn~

~Blooooowwwww with the winds :)~

~Peek~

~Gracious~

~Relax and Let Go~

~Alaska~

~Scraps and scratches~

~Sealed~

Limits

Surprised?Regret?

Beginning with an 'I'

C 'n' C

~Your day~

*Smiles*

trial-n-error method by from Google Translate. Whew.. so tiring :p)

Smiles